Happy Daddy-o Day, to all fathers, hip or square. Let’s pile into the station wagon and take a trip through the headlines.
“2,000-year-old butter unearthed in Ireland”: Movie theaters will compete to see which one has the oldest popcorn that would best “meld” with the ancient butter.
“Hooliganism isn’t the soccer tradition we want to bring to America”: And the first step is to stop saying “hooliganism” and “hooligans,” which sounds old-fashioned and therefore not that bad. Like hooligans might TP your house or something. Substitute “rioting,” “rioters” and “assault,” for starters.
“Report: NHL settles on Las Vegas for expansion”: Indeed. Where else would you want to locate an iced-based sport, whose season runs into April, than a highly populated (2 million residents and 40 million tourists a year) desert area experiencing an ongoing drought, and whose main source of water (Lake Mead) has hit historic, low levels this year?
“Kim Jong Un seen smoking amid gov’t no-smoking campaign”: Shocking, since he is usually such a model of discipline. Oh, wait. He’s not. The whole thing is a model of his brand of cruelty, however: The publicly smoking, overweight leader, telling his country’s starving citizens that they need to quit smoking, you know, for their health. (And never mind that smoking helps stave off the hunger…)
“Snohomish County approach should inform Seattle spending”: This is an editorial in a Seattle paper, praising Snohomish County officials for revoking the decision to build a new courthouse across the street from the current one. But lest anyone in Seattle think that our county leadership has some sort of fiscal insight or secret, they would do well to know that the editorial leaves out how the county has come full (costly) circle on the project, after, among other things, an eminent domain debacle that cost roughly $3.6 million and forced six businesses to move. (From the site that will no longer be used.) So if the Snohomish County approach should inform Seattle spending, it should be in a cautionary-tale kind of way…
“Meat Loaf ‘in good condition’ after concert collapse’?”: The doctors at the hospital told the singer that he was dehydrated, but that his vital signs were stable and normal. They then burst into a rendition of “Two Out of Three Ain’t Bad.” (Meat Loaf collapsed during an encore while performing “I’d Do Anything for Love (But I Won’t Do That).” No one knows what “that” is, which remains for the best.)
“Justin Bieber falls off edge of stage while performing in Canada, still says he had a ‘great show’?” The article says the singer fell off the stage “while adjusting his pants between songs.” Which, in the official record, will be listed as “dehydration.”
Be careful adjusting your pants this week, on or off stage.
Carol MacPherson: 425-339-3472; cmacpherson@heraldnet.com.
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