‘Legally Blonde 2’ could be the newest feminism

BOSTON — Snaps to the little girl leaving "Legally Blonde 2" three steps behind me. There I was trying to figure out what happened to the original fizz when she said to her mom: "Don’t you think she was dumber in this movie?"

YESSS. And a middle-schooler shall lead us.

As a blonde by nature and nurture, I kind of liked the first Reese Witherspoon comedy about the sorority shopaholic dumped by a preppy boyfriend who told her, "If I’m going to be a senator by the time I’m 30, I need to marry a Jackie not a Marilyn."

She went on to challenge the dumb stereotype, to ace Harvard Law School and free her client while remaining true to her roots in every sense of the word. Despite her mom’s warning that law school was for ugly girls, she found her blonde ambition. Girls who just wanna have fun can make Law Review. It’s possible to do hair and torts.

But the sequel is a retreat-quel. The dumbing back down of Elle Woods. She goes to Washington to make the world safer for dogs who are being used to test cosmetics, saying, "I taught Bruiser (her dog) how to shop online, I think I can handle Congress." She’s supposed to be Mr. Smith but she ends up Ditsy Chick.

I know this movie is aimed at a generation that may not remember that the pink suit and pillbox hat Elle wears is — ouch — a knock-off of the outfit Jackie wore to Dallas. At least one reviewer called this "a feel-good empowerment flick" for young women. Witherspoon herself has been dubbed a post-feminist icon. And in a Liz Smith interview she said, "The film is about female potential in the future and that’s what’s really exciting to me." But this future looks an awful lot like the past.

Does life imitate art? Or movie stars? The current Miss America, Erika Harold, starts Harvard Law School in the fall. On the other hand, two Harvard graduates, Laurie Gray and Nancy Redd, will be vying for Miss America this September as Miss Rhode Island and Miss Virginia. "This is what third-wave feminism is all about," says Redd. "Be a career woman, be a stay-at-home mom, be Miss America."

Pretty soon we’ll need a labeling law. It’s hard to tell the difference between third-wave feminism, lipstick feminist, post-feminism and pre-feminism. Or retro-female-ism.

Is someone who remembers when the Miss America pageant was picketed supposed to applaud Miss Harvard America? Is someone with mixed feelings about Anatomically Incorrect Barbie supposed to applaud Legally Blonde 2 Barbie — yes, there is one — as a training toy of empowerment?

Mothers grab your daughters. Even the folks marketing itsy-bitsy teeny-weeny Speedo bikinis to teens now declare that "wearing bikinis is an issue of empowerment." And if that weren’t enough, there’s a television ad for underwear with a (role) model who calls herself Susan B. Anthony.

Drew Barrymore throws "Charlie’s Angels" into the same third wave. She wanted the angels to be "their feminine selves," she says, and also do "what men do in action films." All the while being directed by an invisible male boss.

You can sell anything with a progressive hue — which is both the success and failure of feminism. It’s a new Hollywood message that women can be dolled up and successful. Or the old message that you’re only successful if you’re a doll.

Does this make you nostalgic for the good old role model in Katharine Hepburn movies? Beware. Hollywood billed the trouser-clad Hepburn as "more modern than tomorrow." After her death, virtually every obit described her as the independent strong-willed screen star.

We remember her as the "Woman of the Year" and forget how her character capitulated, desperately making breakfast to win back her man. For that matter, we prefer to remember "Pat and Mike" rather than the real relationship between Spencer and Hepburn. Did Kate actually say, "One builds one’s own jail"?

Now, generally speaking, I follow Elle Woods’ motto: "Never underestimate a woman with a French manicure and a Harvard Law School degree." But Hollywood has gone directly from pre-feminism to post-feminism without trying the real thing. We’ve gone from Hollywood babes to lawyers with liposuction.

Instead of becoming "free to be you and me" (check your mom’s record collection), the next generation is told they’re free to don Jimmy Choo stilettos in the halls of Congress and on the runways of Atlantic City.

Here we are on the steps of the Capitol. And still pretty in pink. The good news is that somewhere little girls are wondering, "Don’t you think she’s dumber?"

Ellen Goodman can be reached at The Washington Post Writers Group, 1150 15th St. NW, Washington, DC 20071-9200 or send e-mail to EllenGoodman@Globe.com.