What were those goofy astronomers thinking, stripping little Pluto of its planet status?
Is this the SUV-ing of our universe? The steroiding of our solar system? Only big counts?
The decision last week by the International Astronomical Union came after much debate, which was sparked after the group’s leaders floated an idea to reaffirm Pluto’s planetary status. So it’s not like the 2,500 astronomers from 75 countries at the conference were in total agreement about this dumb move.
The little planet that could was ousted after the astronomers chose to redefine what a planet is: A celestial body that is in orbit around the sun, has sufficient mass for its self-gravity to overcome rigid body forces so that it assumes a … nearly round shape, and has cleared the neighborhood around its orbit.
Which is a long way of saying Pluto’s oblong orbit overlaps with Neptune’s, which is now apparently a celestial no-no, at least if a body wants the label “planet.”
“What exactly is meant by a planet ‘clearing its neighborhood?’” asked astronomer Hal Weaver of Johns Hopkins University’s Applied Physics Laboratory. Pluto, he said, swings inside the path of Neptune for 20 of the 248 years it takes to circle the sun, adding that maybe that it is Neptune’s fault for not “clearing its neighborhood” and not Pluto’s.
So they are punishing Pluto for having the temerity to swing into Neptune’s space. Not that Neptune ever complained. Hey, it gets lonely way out there. Neptune isn’t going to drop Pluto just because some astronomers no longer think they are equals. It isn’t going to set up a celestial Block Watch. “Hey, you’re not a planet! Get outta my orbit! I’m calling the astronomy cops – they should be here in 175 years or so.”
Further confusing the issue is what the lofty astronomers are now calling Pluto: A dwarf planet. Well, if it’s not a planet, then don’t use the word “planet” in its definition. That’s like saying a dwarf spruce is not a tree. That a miniature schnauzer is not a dog. That a mini bottle isn’t liquor.
Perhaps Rhode Island hasn’t “cleared its neighborhood” and should be declared a dwarf state.
And what if NASA’s New Horizons spacecraft, which this year began a 91/2-year trip to reach Pluto, finds something interesting, like, say, life. One would think life would be an automatic entree into planethood, regardless of a slightly odd orbit. But then again, maybe Plutonians don’t give a hoot what some Earthling astronomers think. Maybe they call their place “the world” too.
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