Not even Shakespeare could make “online dating business” sound more romantic than economic.
But Love, American Style likes to mix business and pleasure, and this 21st century dust-up has them all: Bickering dating sites, rejected would-be soul mates and, of course, a lawsuit.
Last month, a relative newcomer to online matchmaking, Chemistry.com, took on competitor eHarmony with ads featuring men and women wondering why their applications were rejected by eHarmony. The ads note that eHarmony has rejected more than 1 million people who are “looking for love.”
Before you could say “Meet quality singles today” (an eHarmony slogan), the company was trying to get Chemistry.com’s commercials pulled, saying they suggest eHarmony is arbitrary or discriminatory. If the ads aren’t pulled, eHarmony wants qualifiers that explain what “1 million rejected” means. The matchmaker, which says more than 13 million people have signed up for memberships since 2000, acknowledges that it has, in fact, rejected 1 million people. But not for any judgmental reason, eHarmony insists.
The most common reason people are rejected, – up to 30 percent – eHarmony says, is that that they are married. Hmmm. Other reasons for rejection: Applicants are under 21 or gave “inconsistent answers” on the application; anyone under 60 who’s been married more than four times and anyone who might suffer from severe depression. (Romeo and Juliet?)
A Chemistry.com ad mentions one other reason: Gay people are turned away.
This is where the now-successful business of eHarmony bumps up against the origins of eHarmony. In 2000, Dr. Neil Clark Warren created the dating site. At the time, he was closely associated with Focus on the Family, an anti-gay religious and political group, which published three of his many self-help books.
In response to criticism in 2003, Dr. Steve Clark, eHarmony’s director of research and product development, told Southern Voice that it didn’t include matchmaking for gay men and lesbians because it would alienate straight users.
Two years later, however, Warren began distancing his name and brands from Focus on the Family, even buying back the rights to his Focus-published books. Warren explained the move to USA Today by saying that eHarmony tries to reach “people of all spiritual orientations, all political philosophies, all racial backgrounds.”
Two minutes after Chemistry.com’s ad targeting eHarmony’s rejection of gays aired, a Northern California woman sued the dating service, alleging it discriminates against gays.
eHarmony says it can’t match gays because its compatibility survey is based on research about heterosexuals. Sorry, but personality traits are personality traits. Anyone’s information can be plugged into eHarmony’s soul-mate finding machinery; the principles are the same. The argument is incompatible with facts.
The site must either serve everyone, or quit pretending that it does.
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