Regardless of whatever happens from here on out weatherwise, we can always say we had Mother’s Day weekend. And the Friday before. Our cup of Vitamin D cheerily runneth over. Let’s lazily review the headlines, as if from Sunday’s hammock, rather than Monday’s workplace paddock:
•”Say hello to the sunshine”: In a Herald report about the great weather predicted for Mother’s Day weekend, people already hitting the beach Friday told reporter Amy Daybert how grateful they were to be out in the sun. But if you don’t live around here, it might seem quaint that the sun coming out is big news.
Daybert talked to Mickey and Elizabeth Neal, of Charleston, W.Va., who were visiting family in Snohomish County.
“We were impressed about how thrilled people were to have several days of sun,” said Mickey Neal, 58. “It’s not that uncommon where I’m from.”
Yes, well, as Northwesterners refrain from putting away their anti-SAD lamps for the season in a reverse-pyschology kind of way, their thrill at light and warmth is indeed sincere, and impressive.
•”Mother’s Day don’ts: dish gloves, Cougar T-shirts”: Yep, even if she’s a proud Washington State University graduate.
”Conn. teen’s body spray sets off school fire alarm”: Officials said a student’s “overabundance” of body spray in a locker room activated the fire alarm. It’s reaasurring to know our life-saving technology works when it is needed.
The incident is not surprising, since the makers of “body sprays” aimed at male teens shamelessly recommend “overabundance” in the application of said spray — almost as if applied with a fire extiguisher — with the promise that it will dramatically attract sex-crazy female teens.
The reality, of course, is mostly that you’re going to have to buy a new can soon. Rule of thumb: If the females you are attracting are firefighters, you’ve “applied” too much.
•”’Relaxed’ Jaso has become M’s Mr. Clutch”: We sure hope so. Oh, the places you’ll go! Jaso, Jaso, Jaso.
”Study: Yogurt diet key to mouse ‘sexiness’”: MIT scientists say yogurt-eating rodents develop shiny coats and a slimmer profile. Will Minnie Mouse replace Jamie Lee Curtis as yogurt’s biggest champion?
”Florida teacher faces dismissal over ‘cone of shame’”: A high school science teacher is accused of making at least eight of her ninth-grade students wear the collar — the type used to prevent animals from licking themselves after surgery — as a way to discipline them. Sort of a reverse dunce cap.
Several dogs barked on the students’ behalf, woefully testifying that such cones are a indeed a cruel and unusual form of punishment. Almost as bad as a bath. Or a body spray.
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