It was a moment to savor.
If, that is, you caught the story on the news.
A moment to savor because it was a small victory for common sense which is, unfortunately, nowhere near as common as it should be.
Still, we should take a moment.
A recent Associated Press story noted that soon, “Airline passengers will be allowed to carry small scissors and tools onto planes.”
I’m cheered by the small scissors part. Clipping fingernails, cutting out the odd article from an in flight magazine, trimming the random thread from a sweater. All of these needful things can now be done a bit more adroitly than has been the case for the past several years.
That “tool” part, however, needs some serious rethinking.
I’ve been around grown males long enough to have learned a few things. I would mention the following in passing. If you give men (especially those with a penchant for watching NASCAR races): (1) tools, (2) several hours with not much to do, and (3) put them near any large, loud, and operational piece of machinery, what you have is an open invitation to disaster.
“You feel that vibration?”
“Sure enough do. Think I’ll just grab my open end wrench and a screwdriver and have a look under the floorboards here.”
“Really think you should do that?”
“What the heck could happen?”
Famous last words. Murphy’s Law guarantees that the computer governing every last thing having to do with keeping that airliner aloft will be located directly under the panel being opened by said individual.
Not my main point, however.
The good news is that, after only four or so years, we’ve finally taken a tiny step in a different direction. The focus of airport security is now going to be on explosives.
As the AP story explained, we have federal marshals on planes (well, some planes, some places, some times), bulletproof cockpit doors (I hope they’re tougher than the back wall of a shooting gallery), armed pilots (although, if the caliber of the firearm they’re carrying doesn’t start with a “.4,” they’re still under-gunned), and 100 percent screening of checked baggage. Given all of the above, the likelihood of some fundamentalist loon commandeering an airliner with a knife or box cutter has lessened.
One should also note several other deterrents not mentioned in the story. What with smaller seats, little to no food, more passengers, and occasional late arrivals and departures, if anyone stood up and said they were taking over – for Allah or whomever – it would be suicide.
The way I figure it, about two-thirds of the already annoyed passengers would rise as one and beat that individual to a pulp just before squeezing him down the onboard toilet and flushing him into the sewage holding tank. The other one-third would be on their cell phones cheerfully describing – at normal, indoor cell phone voice level (shouting) – the entire incident to anyone they could reach.
“Yeah. Head first I tell you. Bet that blue stuff really tastes awful.”
So, it’s one small step for security, but no giant leap for safety.
Pause for a moment and ask yourself the following:
Since the Munich Olympics, the majority of the world’s bombings, beheadings, beatings, stonings, kidnappings, hijackings, shootings at restaurants, lounges, weddings, and parties have been perpetrated by?
Class? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?
How about Luca Brazzi for not being given a part in “Godfather II?” Or maybe crazed Texans after being told there’d be no more Friday night high school football? Perhaps Norwegians from Ballard furious after discovering this year’s lutefisk supply had been wiped out by a severe shortage of lye?
Or did anyone form a mental image of Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40?
Best not mention it if you did. Lord knows what the “PC” fallout would be.
But, for now, I’m delighted to see we’ve taken a small step down a different road. Who knows? If it gathers any momentum, one day we might stop frisking 80-year-old great grandmothers, former Medal of Honor winners (an actual occurrence), airline pilots, and just about everyone else who would never even consider hijacking a plane.
There’s hope for this because Air Transport Association spokesman David Castelveter was quoted as saying: “What we believe, as does the TSA, is that we should be focusing on what poses the greatest risk.”
Darned straight, Mr. Castelveter.
Now if you’d just change the second “what” in that sentence to “who,” you’d likely get a standing ovation the likes of which hasn’t been heard around these parts in a long time.
Larry Simoneaux lives in Edmonds. Comments can be sent to larrysim@att.net.
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