It’s disturbing to read.
But it’s a story that parents of teenagers should read closely and one they should ask their children to read as well — followed by a frank and open talk.
During a house party this summer where teens were drinking, two sexual assaults are alleged to have occurred. Four boys, three 17-year-olds and a 16-year-old, face second-degree rape charges in the separate assaults of two 16-year-old girls. Herald Writer Diana Hefley’s article in Thursday’s Herald reported that in both alleged assaults the victims were intoxicated, at least one of them to the point of unconsciousness.
The four boys, whom The Herald is not naming because their case remains — for the time being — in juvenile court have pleaded not guilty and were released on their personal recognizance. The Herald is also not reporting the location of the party to protect the identities of the victims.
In one alleged assault, one of the 17-year-old boys had intercourse with one of the 16-year-old girls in the back of a pickup. He later told witnesses at the party that he didn’t realize she was passed out.
In the other alleged assault, three boys raped a 16-year-old girl in a treehouse. The girl in that attack was so intoxicated she had to be carried down from the treehouse.
There’s a lot of ground to cover in talking to your teens about this, including alcohol and drug use, but even if your advice to your children is that they not have sexual intercourse, start with this subject: consent.
A person, male or female, cannot grant legal consent to sexual intercourse — and that includes a range of sexual activity — if they are drunk, drugged or incapacitated, according to the Washington Coalition of Sexual Assault Programs. Consent must be freely given without manipulation or coercion. And consent requires a verbal response of “yes.” Not only does “no” mean no, but only “yes” means yes. If a person does not object or fight back that cannot be assumed to be an indication of consent, WCSAP advises.
The coalition offers a wealth of information on the subject on its website, www.wcsap.org, including tips for talking to teens and pre-teens about sexual assault: tinyurl.com/WCSAPtalktips.
Among its tips, the coalition advises parents to:
- Use natural moments to bring up the topic, such as news stories.
- Give the teen an opportunity to ask questions. Be open and available to them.
- Talk about the technology they use, specifically about social networks they use, such as Instagram and Snapchat and the photos they take with their smartphones.
- And remind them that sexual assault is never the victim’s fault.
Regardless of the outcome of any trials, six young lives were seriously affected during a summer party.
Here’s your opportunity to talk with your kids about it.
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