What GOP lacks in intellect it makes up for in manliness

  • Ellen Goodman
  • Saturday, September 4, 2004 9:00pm
  • Opinion

NEW YORK – If nothing else, the Republican National Convention is bound to revive all those jokes about men and driving.

“Why does it take a million sperm to fertilize one egg? They won’t ask directions.” “Why were the Jews lost in the desert for 40 years? Moses wouldn’t stop to ask directions.” You know the drill.

These were the jokes about boys who grew up as if they had MapQuest in their DNA hard drive. By the time men got behind the wheel – of the car or the country – they had to know where they were going. Or at least act as if they did.

Now the line is back, only without the punch.

This year’s RNC was the RMC, the Real Men Convention. The polls show that half of all Americans think the country is on the wrong track. But the delegates and speakers here all praised George W. for being the President Who Wouldn’t Ask Directions.

Arnold Schwarzenegger, the “once-scrawny boy from Austria,” cited his two role models as John Wayne and Richard Nixon before he said what he admired most about Bush: “perseverance.”

Leadership, said Arnold, is “about making decisions you think are right and then standing behind those decisions.” And in case anyone didn’t get it, he then teased those who disagreed with the president’s rosy jobs scenario by reprising his line: “Don’t be economic girlie men.”

Zell Miller, the angry old Democrat of the Republican Party – no, you can’t give him back – sounded like he was suffering from the side effects of Cialis when he called Kerry a “bowl of mush” and praised the president’s, uh, “backbone.”

And Dick Cheney twisted Kerry’s promise to run “a more effective, more thoughtful, more strategic, more proactive, more sensitive war on terror” into a slam against the Democrat as, gulp, a Sensitive Guy. “He talks about leading a more sensitive war on terror,” sneered the vice president, “as though al-Qaida will be impressed with our softer side.”

The words “resolute,” “strong,” and “steadfast” littered Madison Square Garden like posters of “Four More Years.” The phrase repeated by delegate after delegate with spooky consistency was: “he does what he says he’s going to do.”

It didn’t seem matter what he did as much as the fact that he said he’d do it. It didn’t seem to matter as much where he was leading as that he was leading. The president put it best Thursday night when he said, “Even when we don’t agree, at least you know what I believe and where I stand.”

The RMC didn’t just want to portray the combat veteran Kerry as the wimp and the National Guardsman Bush as the warrior. By the time the balloons dropped, it was clear that Republicans think that this may become a contest between a man who swaggers – “which in Texas is called ‘walking’” – and a man who sways. They believe we’ll pick the swagger.

In times of anxiety, many do gravitate to a very traditional, even archetypal image of male strength. Whatever the gender jokes, it isn’t just men. There are also women in the passenger seat who are only comfortable with a man who behaves as if he knows where he’s going.

Leadership in itself is neither good nor bad. The paradox of leadership is that the skills can be utterly disconnected from the goals. You can be led by Hannibal – there was a guy with an elephant problem – straight into the mountains.

But Bush’s leadership is paradoxical for another reason. He’s seen as unwavering because he simply disavows any turns in the road. In a powerful acceptance speech rife with distortions, the same resolute, persevering, backboned president who went into Iraq claiming weapons of mass destruction now defends the war as one of liberation. In Bush’s head, al-Qaida and Saddam are still connected. And anyone who worries that Iraq is breeding more terrorists than it had to begin with is suffering from what Zell Miller called “analysis paralysis.”

My father used to describe a friend as “often wrong, but never in doubt.” On the last day of the convention, Dick Cheney described his friend to a breakfast of Ohio delegates as “decisive.”

“He doesn’t waffle, he doesn’t agonize,” said the vice president. “That’s exactly what we need in a president. We don’t need indecision or confusion.”

Well, I am sure that Dick Cheney isn’t asking me for directions. But guess what? It’s not George Bush’s decisiveness that’s the problem. It’s his decisions.

Ellen Goodman is a Boston Globe columnist. Contact her by writing to ellengoodman@globe.com.

Talk to us

> Give us your news tips.

> Send us a letter to the editor.

> More Herald contact information.

More in Opinion

toon
Editorial cartoons for Monday, Feb. 10

A sketchy look at the news of the day.… Continue reading

bar graph, pie chart and diagrams isolated on white, 3d illustration
Editorial: Don’t let state’s budget numbers intimidate you

With budget discussions starting soon, a new website explains the basics of state’s budget crisis.

Comment: Trump can go only as far as the courts will allow

Most of Trump’s executive orders are likely to face court challenges, setting the limits of presidential power.

Comment: Civil service needs reform; Trump means only to gut it

It’s too difficult to hire and fire federal workers. A grand bargain is possible, but that’s not what Trump seeks.

Saunders: U.S. Iron Dome isn’t feasible now, but it could be

Trump is correct to order a plan for a system that would protect the nation from missile strikes.

Harrop: Trump has no sense of damage from tariff threats

Even if ultimately averted, a trade war with Canada and Mexico could drive both from U.S. exports.

A young man carries water past the destroyed buildings of a neighborhood in the Gaza Strip, Feb. 2, 2025. President Donald Trump’s proposal to “own” the Gaza Strip and transfer its population elsewhere has stirred condemnation and sarcasm, but it addresses a real and serious challenge: the future of Gaza as a secure, peaceful, even prosperous place. (Saher Alghorra/The New York Times)
Comment: ‘Homeland’ means exactly that to Gazans

Palestinians have long resisted resettlement. Trump’s plan to ‘clean out’ Gaza changes nothing.

Curtains act as doors for a handful of classrooms at Glenwood Elementary on Monday, Sept. 9, 2024 in Lake Stevens, Washington. (Olivia Vanni / The Herald)
Editorial: Schools’ building needs point to election reform

Construction funding requests in Arlington and Lake Stevens show need for a change to bond elections.

FILE- In this Nov. 14, 2017, file photo Jaìme Ceja operates a forklift while loading boxes of Red Delicious apples on to a trailer during his shift in an orchard in Tieton, Wash. Cherry and apple growers in Washington state are worried their exports to China will be hurt by a trade war that escalated on Monday when that country raised import duties on a $3 billion list of products. (Shawn Gust/Yakima Herald-Republic via AP, File)
Editorial: Trade war would harm state’s consumers, jobs

Trump’s threat of tariffs to win non-trade concessions complicates talks, says a state trade advocate.

A press operator grabs a Herald newspaper to check over as the papers roll off the press in March 2022 in Everett. (Olivia Vanni / The Herald file photo)
Editorial: Push back news desert with journalism support

A bill in the state Senate would tax big tech to support a hiring fund for local news outlets.

toon
Editorial cartoons for Sunday, Feb. 9

A sketchy look at the news of the day.… Continue reading

Rent stabilization can keep more from losing homes

Thank you to The Herald Editorial Board for its editorial, regarding rent… Continue reading

Support local journalism

If you value local news, make a gift now to support the trusted journalism you get in The Daily Herald. Donations processed in this system are not tax deductible.