Ho, ho, ho: Gifts for every NFL occasion

The one-sided win over the zero-dimensional San Francisco 49ers attack was enough to bring you back from that ledge on the highway overpass.

The way your team came back from a 10-0 deficit against the defending NFC champions was enough for you to take your favorite Seahawk blue hat out of the Goodwill pile.

Yes, the Seattle Seahawks are back, football fans. And the timing couldn’t be better. Having a legitimate contender in town makes the holiday gift season all that much easier. Fans are undoubtedly scrambling to see if that No. 18 D.J. Hackett jersey or the No. 43 Leonard Weaver are available for purchase. Or maybe you’d just like to trade in that No. 37 for a No. 20 … straight up.

Either way, Seattle football fans have plenty of ideas when it comes to Christmas wish lists. Other cities don’t have it so easy.

That’s where we come in. The Herald is here to help, for the seventh year in a row. With the holiday shopping season officially starting today, we’ve provided some ideas once again.

And we present, the seventh annual Herald Holiday Shopping Guide:

For Tony Romo and Tom Brady: A fly swatter. Must be annoying with all those actresses, pop stars and supermodels trying to get their hands on you. Trust us, boys, we know how you feel.

For Bill Belichick: A DVD from the makers of Paris Hilton’s infamous video company. This one’s called: “One Night in Monte Kiffin’s Headset.”

For Antrel Rolle: Three weeks with Bela Karolyi, so he can stick the landing next time.
For the Baltimore Ravens: An impatient officiating crew. And no more instant replay.
For Wade Phillips, Randy Moss, Brett Favre and Jon Kitna: Dial Soap and some Head &Shoulders. To get rid of all that dirt after getting resurrected from the dead.

For Vinny Testaverde: A good crop of rookie quarterbacks, so he can enjoy the retired life.
For Adrian Peterson: Bigger pads — like, maybe one of those sumo suits seen during timeouts at NBA games.
For the Buffalo Bills: Realignment into the AFC West, where they’d be tied for first place — instead of one loss from being eliminated from contention for a division title.

For Peyton Manning: An autographed photo of an NFL player, with the inscription: “Dear Peyton, thanks for everything! Antonio Cromartie, the Chargers’ newest starter.”
For the San Francisco 49ers: Lower expectations.
For O.J. Simpson: The rights to a book called, “Just Give Me the Damn Ball … Back.”
For Charlie Frye: An album of Derek Anderson singing covers, including the old Bob Hope classic, “Thanks for the Memories.”
For the Miami Dolphins: A one-week throwback to the fall of 1972.
For the 1972 Dolphins: An undefeated New England Patriots season, so they can get on with their lives.
For Adam “Pac-Man” Jones: Another opportunity to play football. May we suggest the West Tennessee State Penitentiary Flag League?
For Shaun Alexander: Less-vocal fans whose memories go back further than 2006.
To NFL fans: A Thanksgiving game in Detroit that actually matters. Oh, wait, we already got that — at long last — yesterday.

For the NFL: A team that can challenge the New England Patriots in the postseason. Otherwise, we might take Dennis Green’s advice and just “crown their …” You know the rest.