Waving goodbye to another GM

TODAY’S LINEUP

A look at the top sports stories in this morning’s edition of The Herald:

1. Will the last GM in Seattle please shut off the lights on his way out?

Tim Ruskell is following in the footsteps of Wally Walker, Bill Bavasi and Bob Ferguson. The Seahawks held a morning news conference to announce Ruskell’s resignation, they might as well have brought Steve Hutchinson’s agent and Deion Branch to the podium and let them explain what went wrong.

2. If the Silvertips were a Florida Panthers goalie, Hartsburg would be wielding a stick

The Silvertips got worked by Kelowna on Wednesday night. Everett coach Craig Hartsburg ripped into his team, saying the players had an unbridled “arrogance.” A bunch of arrogant teen-agers? Hartsburg sounds like the 85-year-old man shooing kids off his grass.

3. Will the richer get Rich?

The Mariners are apparently chasing top free-agent pitcher Rich Harden, hoping to add a veteran to a rotation that currently includes Felix Hernandez and four guys who should’ve been Tim Lincecum.

4. They were thinking of changing his nickname to John Doe

The Seahawks’ Jordan Babineaux is living up to his nickname again. Big Play Babs is actually making some big plays. The Closer thinks they ought to start calling him Please Schedule the Rams Or Lions Every Week Babs.

5. We’d all be better off if this road trip stopped in Spokane

The UW men’s basketball team is playing its first road game of the season tonight. Just to make sure he didn’t get benched again, Venoy Overton has been on the team plane since Monday night.

THE WARMUP PITCH

New coach … but still no new jerseys

Kiki Vandeweghe’s debut as head coach of the New Jersey Net Losses went much like the team’s first 17 games. Things have gotten so bad that the Nets are considering signing Mark Sanchez. That way, at least they’ll have one hot dog on the team.

Eastern Washington is still Zag Country

Despite a spirited performance from the WSU Cougars, Gonzaga reigned supreme in a matchup of in-state powers. The same could probably be said if WSU played Gonzaga’s intramural champions on the gridiron.

They’ve got a war; we had Tic Tac Toe

Two Northwest football powers do battle tonight in a rivalry game that will determine who represents the Pac-10 in the Rose Bowl. We’re talking, of course, about Oregon’s Civil War. By the way things have been progressing in the football programs north of Oregon, we might be saying the same thing about the 2086 Apple Cup.

Huskies can’t bring out the Best in Cal

Cal’s star running back, Jahvid Best, is still a long way from returning to action. That’s good news for the Huskies, who host the Bears on Saturday. The bad news? UW’s run defense couldn’t stop Jahvid Worst.

After the Wayne Chrebet era, there was no reason to go on

Hofstra is dropping its football program. Then the school offered Paul Wulff a job.

CURVE BALLS

The wild and wacky news from the world of sports …

That explains some of those haircuts

The NBA’s resident crazy man (not that that narrows it down much) ran his mouth again recently, and this time he may have put a foot in it. Ron Artest admitted to drinking Hennessy at halftime of games earlier in his career. We’re just relieved he didn’t ask a vender at The Palace to toss him a bottle.

And we’ve got some advice for Jesper. It’s about that hat …

Professional golfer Jesper Parnevik has some advice for Tiger Woods’s wife. So do we. It’s spelled d-i-v-o-r-c-e.

The Seahawks can’t even win at this

The L.A. Times has started ranking the NFL’s bottom five teams, and the Seahawks were not on the list. Rumor has it that Seattle was No. 3 before Tim Ruskell stepped down.

THE RUNDOWN

With Tim Ruskell out of the picture, the Seahawks are looking for a GM. Here are our top candidates:

5. Brett Favre: The first-ever quarterback/GM. He may not necessarily have an eye for talent, but he gets the most out of it.

4. Halle Berry: Way up here in Seattle, it’s tough to get free agents to visit. That won’t be a problem with her making the phone calls.

3. Thierry Henry: Dude knows how to get around the rules … and get away with it.

2. Anyone named Rooney: The first family of the Pittsburgh Steelers knows how to win championships. You haven’t forgotten 2005 already, have ya?

1. Tiger Woods: He’s not shy about stockpiling talent.

Contact The Closer at inthebullpen@heraldnet.com