Ripped and streaking

TODAY’S LINEUP

A daily look at the top sports stories in today’s edition of The Herald:

1. They’re going to have to print new pocket schedules

If the Everett Silvertips win tonight and Saturday, they’ll set a franchise record for consecutive victories. They’ll also complete the month of January undefeated. Should that happen, the Tips plan to make a few tweaks to their February schedule. For instance, their Feb. 3 contest at Spokane will be rescheduled for Jan. 34.

2. When he says ‘buff’ he really means he needs Bufferin

Ken Griffey Jr. told Mariners trainer Rick Griffin he’s been working out and is going “to be ripped” when he reports to spring training next month. The Closer is skeptical. The only things ripped about the 40-year-old Griffey this season will be his hamstring muscles, his abdominal muscles, his back muscles …

3. An offense made of Klay

Klay Thompson leads the WSU Cougars into Seattle on Saturday as the sixth-leading scorer in the nation at 22.3 points per contest. That’s about what the Cougs averaged per game last year in coach Tony Bennett’s slow, defensive-minded system.

4. On your mark, get set … open!

The state of Washington is sending 11 athletes to the upcoming Winter Olympics in Vancouver. It’s expected to be one of the strongest contingents since the 1984 group from the Evergreen State won three gold medals and two silvers. Of course, it helps that over the past 26 years the IOC has added a couple of fringe sports — moguls skiing and short-track speed skating — that Northwest types excel in. If rhythmic umbrella opening ever becomes an Olympic event, we’re going to absolutely dominate.

THE WARMUP PITCH

A walkout won’t have much effect on the league’s scoring stats

The most disappointing news in the sports world Thursday came from Major League Soccer, which announced it’s extending negotiations with its players union on a collective bargaining agreement through Feb. 12. The current CBA expires Sunday. The Closer, who’d rather watch Kathy Lee Gifford host a PBS pledge drive than sit through a soccer game, was pulling for a lockout. Here’s a prediction: When it comes time for the MLS players to approve a new agreement, the first vote will end in a scoreless tie.

UW needs to build a penalty box at Hec Ed

Brendan Sherrer, the former Archbishop Murphy High School basketball player who made the UW men’s team as walk-on this season, scored his first basket as a Husky in Tuesday’s romp over Seattle University. Sherrer’s baseline jumper was one of a couple hoops UW scored while the foul-crippled Redhawks had just four players on the court. That makes the Huskies 2-for-2 on the power play this season.

No history, no worries

Fans of the Indianapolis Colts are concerned their team may be wearing the wrong color in next week’s Super Bowl. The Colts, who will wear blue, are 2-0 in Super Bowls in their white uniforms and 0-1 in the blues. With no Super Bowl history to reflect on, New Orleans Saints fans have no such worries. The Saints can march out wearing Speedos and Mardi Gras masks for all their fans care.

Hu’s in the pool

Oak Harbor High School graduate John Hu is one of the top swimmers at Stevens Institute of Technology in Hoboken, N.J. He’s majoring in chemical engineering, which means he knows exactly how much chlorine to put in the pool without damaging his smooth complexion.

All this losing is ticking Her Majesty off

Andy Murray will try to become the first British male tennis player to win a Grand Slam event in 76 years when he plays Roger Federer on Sunday in the final of the Australian Open. Federer, who’s from Switzerland, joked Thursday that it’s been “150,000 years” since a Brit won a Grand Slam title. Look for those numbers to increase to 77 and 150,001 on Sunday.

How ‘bout we just skip the game?

Anheuser-Busch is letting fans vote on whether or not the company should run a commercial featuring its famous Clydesdales during the upcoming Super Bowl. The Closer has a better idea. If the game turns into a dud, let the fans vote on whether they want to watch the second half or simply have CBS air the commercials so we can get on with our lives.

He’s smiling … but it hurts

The NBA on Thursday named former UW basketball star Brandon Roy a reserve on the West squad for the Feb. 14 all-star game. Roy deserves the honor. Despite injuries to just about everyone on the Portland roster — including the head coach (torn Achilles’ tendon) — Roy has kept the Blazers in the playoff race. Fittingly, Roy learned of his selection while getting treatment for a hamstring injury that may keep him out of the all-star contest.

CURVE BALLS

The wild and wacky news from the world of sports …

What does Smurf Turf look like when it’s embarrassed?

Officials at Eastern Washington University announced this week they plan to install red turf on the Eagles’ home field, possibly in time for the 2010 football season. While they’re at it, The Closer suggests they change the school’s acronym from EWU to EEEEWWWWWWW.

No, really, I’m trying to set a world record

The X Games began Thursday with Dagny McKinley of Steamboat Springs, Colo., trying to establish a Guinness world record for most hugs given in 24 hours. The Closer’s weird uncle Max tried to do the same thing a few years ago in the mall. He would have succeeded, too, if not for those mall cops handcuffing his arms behind his back. Uncle Max says he plans to try again … in five to 10 years.

Contact The Closer at inthebullpen@heraldnet.com.