Nick Saban is a very, very smart man. Egotistical, condescending, perhaps even repugnant – but definitely smart.
He needed only two years to figure out what guys like Mike Holmgren and Bill Parcells never learned.
Two years into his sovereignty atop the Miami Dolphins’ pyramid, Saban realized that this business is not very forgiving.
Forget $40 million. At the risk of sounding like that Hooters girl who was posing as Terrell Owens’s agent, Saban had 40 million reasons not to want to coach in the NFL.
It’s not the most secure profession in the world. The National Football League treats its coaches kind of like Seattle trees treat power lines.
You don’t believe me? Well, just ask Dennis Erickson. The former Seahawks and 49ers coach would be happy to explain why his stop in San Francisco was about as memorable as a trip to the proctologist. Butch Davis, Steve Spurrier and Pete Carroll might have similar tales from the darkside.
It’s not a good place for a coach to be. Unless you happen to have Parcells-like success.
For further proof, just look at this year’s 12 playoff coaches. Five of them – Parcells, Holmgren, Bill Belichick, Andy Reid and Brian Billick – have already taken teams to the Super Bowl, while two others – Eric Mangini and Sean Payton – are still on that honeymoon known as “rookie success.” The other five are flies stuck on the NFL’s web of impatience – certain to get pounced upon if they deliver anything short of a Vince Lombardi Trophy.
San Diego’s Marty Schottenheimer ranks sixth in NFL history in career wins (205), yet all everyone wants to talk about is his 5-12 postseason record. If he can’t take the Chargers to the Super Bowl, no one’s going to remember the 14-2 regular season; they’ll be too busy crying for a coach who can get them over the hump.
The same goes for the Colts’ Tony Dungy, who has posted a 59-21 record since taking over in Indianapolis but has yet to go to a Super Bowl. His seat might not be hot right now, but if the Colts lose this weekend, he might feel like he’s sat on an open tube of Ben Gay.
Same goes for Chicago’s Lovie Smith, who has gone from worst to back-to-back firsts but is coaching in a restless city that hasn’t won a playoff game since 1994. If the Bears lose next weekend, it would mark the third time Chicago has dropped a home playoff game in its past three appearances.
Kansas City’s Herm Edwards had an admirable 2-3 postseason record while coaching the New York Jets, but he never made it to the AFC championship game. How many postseason losses will Chiefs fans have to take before they start wondering whether he can win the big game?
And then there’s Tom Coughlin – aka, Dead Coach Walking. There have been so many rumors about the New York Giants’ coach getting ousted that Tiki Barber has a better shot of being with the team next year. If Coughlin’s Giants lose to Philadelphia on Sunday, they may well be looking for a new coach by Monday morning.
Jim Mora got fired two years removed from an NFC Championship appearance. Bill Cowher hasn’t even celebrated the year anniversary of his first Super Bowl title, and now fans in Pittsburgh are wishing him off to pasture.
Is it fair? By no means. But that’s the way the NFL works. For every Bill Parcells, there are a dozen Steve Spurriers. For every Mike Holmgren, 12 Dennis Ericksons.
Go ahead and let your babies grow up to be cowboys, mamas. Just don’t let them grow up to be NFL coaches.
Nick Saban’s mama did. Fortunately for him, he was smart to get out when he did.
Pretentious, paranoid and smug – but smart.
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