A few thoughts in between personal celebrations that Shania Twain and Jessica Simpson are free agents once again:
n So I’m watching Kobe Bryant throw a head fake that twists Bruce Bowen into a Picasso print and I find myself ticked off. I’m ticked off because if David Stern has his way — and the odds are overwhelming that he will — the closest Seattle ever gets to another NBA franchise is the Portland Trailblazers.
No more playoff tension. No more Allen Iverson slicing through defenses like a Benihana chef buzzing through a pile of shrimp. No more Rasheed Wallace temper tantrums.
And it’s all because David Stern introduced and brokered a deal between Howard Schultz and Clay Bennett.
I say we thank David Stern in our own little way: Write David Stern, NBA Commissioner, 645 Fifth Avenue, 19th Floor, New York City, New York 10022.
Compared to the average NBA player’s lifestyle, we all may be Malaysian oven-mitt stitchers, but I’ll miss watching the big lugs.
n These are the dog days of sports if you don’t have a team of interest in the NBA or NHL playoffs. Major League Baseball isn’t even at the All-Star break. The NFL training camps are weeks away. College football? Months. And don’t even mention college basketball. When was the last time you followed the LPGA?
That doesn’t mean you sit on your hands, though.
If you’re a freakazoid sports fan, these are the days you clean the grout and take that trip to IKEA you’ve promised your significant other for months. It’s time to smooth over and coddle that sacrosanct relationship that, during the nine months of the year you’re so completely caught up in sportsdom, you nearly mess up like the Mob blew their sweet setup in Las Vegas.
You have some making up to do, Sluggo. Get at it.
n Are you like me? Are you a closet Mixed Martial Arts fan?
I’m one of those who soured on years and years of corruption in boxing and was forced, really, to satisfy my drooling need for gore and violence through MMA.
Hey, it happens.
Anyway, as I write this, UFC is a few hours away. I’m thinking Tito Ortiz’s age and toying around with pornstar/girlfriend Jenna Jameson make it too much for him to defeat Lyoto Machida. Keith Jardine keeps winning when he should lose, but I still think he’s out of his league against Wanderlei Silva. And I like B.J. Penn against Sean Sherk.
If you’re a fellow MMA maniac, you already know the results.
I bet I was right.
n Word from Montlake is that the UW will open its 2009 football season at home against LSU. Washington will visit Baton Rouge, La., in 2012. My question: Haven’t the Huskies suffered enough? My other question: Were the New England Patriots busy?
Washington just played the nation’s toughest schedule last season and finished, what, 4-9? Tyrone Willingham came thisclose to drawing unemployment. Alumni and boosters aren’t amused.
OK, so I hear those out there who say that you can only be the best by playing the best. I get that. I also get that blowouts are a lousy way of building morale.
Who knows? Maybe by 2009, the last couple of recruiting classes, especially this last incoming class of freshmen, will be ready to compete with the big boys by 2009. Then again, there’s the distinct possibility that the Huskies will go into the game with a new coaching staff.
Poor guys. Never had a chance.
Sports columnist John Sleeper: sleeper@heraldnet.com. For Sleeper[`]s blog, “Dangling Participles,” go to www.heraldnet.com/danglingparticiples.
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