Bradford Campeau-Laurion may or may not be telling the whole story about what happened to him during the seventh inning stretch one August night last year at Yankee Stadium. A judge or a jury will eventually decide that, as is often the American way with these kind of things.
Certainly, the timing of his lawsuit against the Yankees and the city of New York is a bit suspicious, coming just as the Yankees open their new monument to excess in the Bronx. Then again, Campeau-Laurion and his pals at the New York Civil Liberties Union can’t be faulted for wanting to stir up a little publicity for their side.
But if Campeau-Laurion was tossed from Yankee Stadium for, as police claim, having a few beers and using inappropriate language, a case could be made for kicking out half the fans at any ballpark in America.
Just doesn’t happen. Especially in New York.
So I tend to believe Campeau-Laurion’s basic contention — that he was forcibly removed from Yankee Stadium because he dared to try and go to the restroom while “God Bless America” was being played between innings.
That’s right, kicked out because he picked the wrong time to take a potty break.
Now I’m as patriotic as the next guy, but I’ve got a problem with that. You should, too, even if you, like a lot of your fellow countrymen, are never able to afford a seat in the new stadium.
Paying good money to see a ballgame is one thing. Being forced to engage in an act of faux patriotism when you really, really, have to go, is quite another.
Besides, if the Yankees are going to sell beer and not let anyone get up for the seventh-inning stretch, they should at least sell boxes of Depends to go along with it.
I jest, of course, if only because it is kind of silly. The Yankees and Campeau-Laurion should have settled this long before it reached the federal courthouse, but they didn’t.
That’s probably because both believe they are answering to a higher cause.
For the Steinbrenner family that means rallying around the flag not just once during a baseball game, but twice. Apparently standing for the national anthem before a game isn’t enough anymore, so “God Bless America” is sung during what is now an extended seventh-inning stretch.
Just to make sure everyone is on board, no fans are allowed to leave their seats while it is being played. If you go, make sure you take your hat off and put your hand over your heart, lest the guy next to you think you’re some kind of Red Sox loving commie.
And if Irish tenor Ronan Tynan is singing, it’s considered appropriate to get a little choked up.
The origin of it all, of course, was the 911 attacks, and, believe me, just watching the Yankees on television at the time made me teary. The nation had been violated, we wanted more than anything to heal, and the performances were a tribute to the heroes and victims of that terrible day.
They helped us get through some awful times.
But “God Bless America” is not our national anthem, and the whole thing now seems more than a little contrived. Fans in Yankee Stadium and, at times, in other ballparks, are now expected to stand and pay homage to their country two different times as if watching a ballgame is some kind of patriotic activity.
Campeau-Laurion says in his lawsuit that he’s a proud American, but doesn’t think he should be compelled to remain in place for what basically is a show tune written by Irving Berlin and later popularized by Kate Smith. He thought he should be able to go to the bathroom, even as Yankee ushers and security guards stretched chains down aisles to make sure no one left.
He’s right. Standing with our hats off for our national anthem is both appropriate and a part of our sporting fabric since World War II, but are we so insecure about our feelings about our country that we need to publicly display them again a couple hours later? Do fans have to be chained in to ensure they are patriots?
What’s next, “America the Beautiful” after the third inning? “God Bless the USA” before the sixth? Does “American Pie” somehow qualify?
Maybe we should just scrap “Take Me Out to the Ball Game” and recite the Pledge of Allegiance instead.
The bottom line is, we all love our country. A lot of us love baseball, too.
Just because it was once America’s pastime, though, doesn’t mean it can decide what is patriotic and what is not.
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Tim Dahlberg is a national sports columnist for The Associated Press. Write to him at tdahlbergap.org
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