They selected me to speak to you hear today because I never got a B in class. Why this makes me more qualified to speak to you than others, I do not know, but I will take this chance to impart a little advice on my fellow classmates.
Don’t go 95 past a copThey don’t like that too much.
Sleep in for as long as possible, because some day you won’t enjoy it as much.
Get a puppy; they make you happy.
Never give up your ideals.
Try not to get electrocuted too much; that stuff messes you up.
So does hard drugs.
Jump off Jordan Bridge at least once. Every Arlington kid should do it sometime.
Try to wear socks as little as possible. Socks suck.
Drink lots of water, the benefits are endless.
When you are mad, develop a habit like eating chocolate pudding instead of drinking or shooting at people.
Don’t have a garage sale unless you have to. Selling your memories for a quarter is no fun.
Be kind to your little sister. She is the only other person who realizes how dumb your parents are.
Leave America for awhile, and no, our 51st state (Canada) does not count.
And my last piece of advice You’re 18 years old make sure this is the best summer of your life.
Thank you, and good luck in life.
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