There was a lady standing outside the Toys “R” Us store in Lynnwood the other day holding a sign that read “Dumbing down America.”
She reminded me of my mother, shivering in the cold with her flimsy cardboard sign.
“I absolutely refuse to shop at a store that can’t even spell its own name right,” my mom used to say of the backwards R in the toy store’s logo. “It’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen.”
Looking back, I think her moral position on Toys “R” Us was just a way to avoid the tantrums every child throws in response to, “No dear, you have plenty of toys to play with at home.”
It’s funny how the definition of “need” differs so much from toddler to adult.
Everything to preschool-aged children is dire.
Getting a cookie or a Mr. Bubbles bubble gun are matters of life or death.
“Need” for my daughter started at the Canyon Park Blockbuster with a stuffed baby Shrek doll.
“I need,” she said, pointing to the Shrek display. “Mommy, I need doll.”
She’d never even seen the movie.
I tried to reason with her, utilizing all those tips from so-called parenting experts who appear on TV shows like “Oprah” and the “Today Show.” My daughter’s response raised serious doubts in my mind whether any of these fool-proof child rearing methods have actually been tested on children. Unless, of course, my child was supposed to throw herself on the ground like an activist in front of a tank and refuse to leave the store.
I was very proud of myself when we finally managed to get out of Blockbuster Shrek free — a little out of breath and a little frustrated but alive nonetheless.
I should have known the next day when she jumped at the chance to go shopping with daddy that something was going on in that sneaky, little brain of hers.
“Go show mom what we got at Blockbuster,” I heard my husband say as he helped our daughter get out of the car.
His words were followed by a storm of proud footsteps, thundering up the stairs.
And there at my feet was a beaming toddler with a stuffed baby Shrek doll cradled in her arms.
“Look, Mommy,” she said, smiling. “I get Shrek.”
This is the reason my parents were afraid of Toys “R” Us.
“I need …” are the first words out of my daughter’s mouth when she wakes up in the morning or comes home from day care: “I need Nemo, Mommy … I need it, please.”
Toys “R” Us is an easy target for parents’ frustrations, but it’s not a retailer’s fault that our children are incapable of hearing the word “no.”
If anyone’s to blame for the dumbing down of America, it’s us. If you’re worried this holiday season that your children’s view of the world is too narrow, get them gifts to expand their brains — a library card, a family pass to the zoo or local museum.
While you’re at it, get yourself a good supply of earplugs.
You’ll need them if your little one gets an atlas this year instead of a Portable Sony Playstation.
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