Over the years, the word “made” has enjoyed many different meanings. It is still in use in some circles, for example, to denote a male who has officially been inducted into the Mafia and, on the other side of the law, to indicate that one’s cover has been blown.
There is even a program on MTV called “Made.” Now in its 10th season, it is focused on the idea that a teenager can be “made,” with the help of a “made coach,” into someone who more closely resembles the teen’s dreams.
In most episodes, the dreams are related to a specific activity — snowboarding or dancing, for example. But one of its episodes shed some light on a modern problem that is spilling into the workplace.
The teen’s dream was to change her look, her outlook and whatever else necessary to have more real-life friends. She was living what was mostly an e-life that was Internet and cell-phone driven and did not include much, if any, social interaction with living, breathing human beings. And as we might expect, most of her real social interactions did not go all that well.
She may have felt isolated, but she is not an isolated case. A recent study by the University of Michigan Institute for Social Research found that college students today are too self-centered and competitive to be able to empathize with other people.
These are the same kids who have hundreds of “friends” who live just a click away on social media and other Internet sites. But whether cyber-friends are a contributing factor, or merely an outlet for young people’s natural, human urge to socialize isn’t clear. Certainly real friendships are more difficult to establish and maintain today than they were before the Age of Distraction.
Like so many issues before it, the problem of the empathy-free generation will end up in the workplace and managers will have to deal with it.
There are some businesses that traditionally have work forces that include people with limited social skills; sometimes extremely limited social skills. Stories about the “writers’ room” where scriptwriters pounded out dialogue — when they weren’t pounding on each other — are legendary. And the joke about computer software writers who never eat food that isn’t flat enough to be slipped under the door simply won’t go away.
Most workplaces, though, require empathy and social skills in order to function effectively. Today’s businesses run on communications, and sending a message of any sort without empathy — some sense of how it will be received — is always unproductive and sometimes an invitation to disaster.
We can do some things to change the empathy and social skills of our work force and, especially, those entrusted with coordination, supervisory and management responsibilities.
First, we should recognize that this generation of incoming workers has grown up in an environment where historically and socially unprecedented levels of distraction are considered normal. Unfortunately, the short attention spans and what is, essentially, rudeness that accompany these distractions are also considered normal.
If you wish to change your work force, then, you have to establish a new normal. There are different ways to achieve this, but a good way to begin is with the lead-by-example approach …starting with you. We all seem to have multiple responsibilities these days, but make an effort not to let this spill over into your one-to-one communications, at least not the ones where you can control the environment such as your office or a meeting room.
If you are talking with one of your managers or supervisors in your office and your cell phone rings, ignore it and just assume that another angel has gotten his wings. Don’t even look at it. And, next time, remember to turn it off before your start your conversation. (This works wonders when talking with customers, too.)
Once you have set that pattern, you can insist that your managers, supervisors and workers do the same thing prior to any conversations or meetings with you. Next, have your managers do the same thing for their conversations with the supervisors.
You can expect some pushback. Distractions, including the Internet and its e-mails, have become more than a habit for most of us. They are an addiction to what psychology calls “displacement activity,” a way to avoid concentrating on the task at hand or being forced to order and prioritize our activities. And most of us are habitual users who will find it difficult to change.
It is, though, a bottom-line issue. Social skills, empathy and interpersonal communications affect profitability in a direct and powerful way. If you can do these things better than your competition, your bottom line will find a direct and powerful way to thank you.
James McCusker, a Bothell economist, educator and small-business consultant, writes “Your Business” in The Herald each Sunday. He can be reached by sending e-mail to otisrep@aol.com.
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