Let’s review the holiday headline tidings:
“Activist wins ‘eat more kale’ trademark”: This is something he had to win? Turns out, according to AP, that “Chik-fil-A had objected to use of the phrase by Bo Muller-Moore of Montpelier because of its similarity to the company’s trademark phrase “eat mor chikin.” Seriously. Frivolous lawsuits! Fried or baked. What an American tradition!
The phrases are so similar, except for the fact that they are opposite in meaning, and the kale one goes so far as to employ correct (or healthy) spelling.
If the Chik-fil-A folks would just relax, if possible, maybe do some yoga and eat some kale, they might find that a phrase like “Eat more kale” actually has the opposite effect on people who hate to be told what to do and send them running for some fried chikin.
“Unions want state to prove that Boeing tax breaks work”: Well, it is that time of year to ask Santa to make fanciful wishes come true.
“Here’s why your bonus is taxed so high”: Duly filed under “problems that we wouldn’t mind.”
“Vatican finds stash of money ‘tucked away’?”: While totally unrelated, the phrase “tucked away” brings to mind Catholic school nuns who always seemed to have a stash of things tucked away in their sleeves, from Kleenex to rulers. (But no, not money.)
“Humans first built fire 350,000 years ago”: Leading to the first human to say “Quit poking at it; leave it alone,” while another insists the fire needs constant tending, i.e., poking.
“?‘Men are idiots and idiots do stupid things,’ study finds”: The research paper was released in conjunction with the screening of the new documentary “Dumb and Dumber To.”
“Facebook thinking about ‘dislike’ function”: Because, you know, the Internet doesn’t have enough avenues for the expression of negative opinions.
“A powder made from bacteria waste could curb overeating”: Wow. It’s working already, just by reading the headline.
“First cougar seen in Kentucky since Civil War is killed”: Good grief. Hope everyone feels safer.
“No evidence paleo diet matches early eating habits”: No matter. Don’t let the facts get in the way of a successful marketing ploy, er, tool.
The early folks likely weren’t focused on any one food group, or eating strategy, scientists say. (No cave drawings that represent “eat mor protein” have been found.) Our ancestors, scientists say, were more likely “opportunistic feeders.” Which, ironically, is the problem for many of us today. With the opportunities being far too frequent and abundant.
“Boeing, BlackBerry to build self-destructing spy phone”: And will it be disguised as a shoe, ala the TV show “Get Smart”? That way maybe they could get Nike involved in this obviously very top secret project.
Carol MacPherson: 425-339-3472; cmacpherson@heraldnet.com
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