Does this mean I have to use Bing? Google is identified as “partially dangerous” by its very own Safe Browsing tool, which automatically scans the Internet looking for unsafe websites.
The Buzz IT Department assures us that Google is perfectly safe, as long as you continue to follow the long-standing advice to refrain from Googling “Santorum.”
Does this mean my princess phone won’t work? A growing number of states no longer require telephone companies to provide traditional price-controlled phone service, which means the landline phone may soon go the way of the eight-track tape.
People who live in cellular service dead spots will be issued a semaphore signalling lamp and enough round stones to spell out “NEED HELP” on their lawns.
Does this mean I have to switch to Pepsi? Coca-Cola, the world’s largest beverage maker, is redesigning the cans and bottles of regular Coke, Diet Coke, Coke Zero and Coke Life.
Coke will not roll out the redesign in the U.S. right away, or at least until people stop bringing up that New Coke fiasco back in 1985.
— Mark Carlson, Herald staff
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