You can’t accuse director Brett Ratner of not thinking about where to put the camera. In “After the Sunset,” he’s figured out precisely which angles are necessary to view Salma Hayek’s body.

Whether clambering over the hood of a car, doing yoga stretches, or climbing into the bathtub, Ratner’s got Salma covered. No nudity, of course; this is a PG-13 movie – it’s more of an adolescent ogle going on.

“After the Sunset” needs all the distractions it can muster, because this iron-poor heist movie is low on originality. Hayek and Pierce Brosnan play suave partners in crime, jewel thieves who have stolen two out of three from a famous set of diamonds that once belonged to Napoleon.

They’ve done so at the expense of an FBI agent (Woody Harrelson), who has the Herbert Lom role from the “Pink Panther” movies. But he’s vowed not to be humiliated again.

That’s why he trails Brosnan and Hayek to their love nest in the Bahamas. Officially retired, they are surprised to learn that a cruise ship carrying the third Napoleon diamond is due to arrive in harbor in a few days.

With the cooperation of a conveniently beautiful island policewoman (Naomie Harris), Harrelson buddies up to Brosnan and waits for him to make a move. Meantime, a local mob boss (Don Cheadle) insists Brosnan steal the diamond for his syndicate.

That undeveloped subplot is one of the reasons “After the Sunset” feels so slapdash. The fun of heist movies is in the complicated planning and the obstacles, but the script here skimps on the details.

Instead, we get plenty of slapstick with Harrelson being whacked in the head and shooting a shark. The funniest bits involve the reluctant comradeship between Brosnan and Harrelson, who eventually are forced to spend a night in the same bed.

At least that’s believable. The pairing between lilting cop Harris and Harrelson comes out of nowhere; there’s not the slightest reason for this woman to start kissing this dunderheaded fed.

There’s lot of MTV Beach Club photography and drinks with umbrellas. The heist itself is an afterthought, with more prominence given Hayek nagging Brosnan – she wants him to retire and sit on the beach, he still feels the urge to steal. Thomas Crown would never put up with this.

Brosnan looks as though he’s relaxed the workout routine considerably since the last James Bond movie, while Harrelson isn’t quite as much of a hoot as you’d think in his blundering role. Which is how “Red Dragon” director Ratner ended up focusing on Hayek’s body. In desperation, go to the sure thing.

Pierce Brosnan, Salma Hayek and her body star in “After the Sunset.”

“After the Sunset” H

Boring: Heist movie that doesn’t seem interested in its own heist. Pierce Brosnan and Salma Hayek are diamond thieves retired to the Caribbean, but an FBI man (Woody Harrelson) keeps watch. Slapstick replaces good writing, but even that isn’t as much fun as it should be.

Rated: PG-13 rating is for subject matter, language.

Now showing: tk

“After the Sunset” H

Boring: Heist movie that doesn’t seem interested in its own heist. Pierce Brosnan and Salma Hayek are diamond thieves retired to the Caribbean, but an FBI man (Woody Harrelson) keeps watch. Slapstick replaces good writing, but even that isn’t as much fun as it should be.

Rated: PG-13 rating is for subject matter, language.

Now showing: Alderwood, Everett 9, Galaxy, Marysville, Mountlake, Stanwood, Meridian, Woodinville, Cascade.

Robert Horton