This family is no match for a German-made knife. (Jennifer Bardsley)

This family is no match for a German-made knife. (Jennifer Bardsley)

Any way you slice it, that bread knife is dangerous

Their old bread knife was too dull. The new one is too sharp, apparently.

Twenty-two years ago when I got married, my grandma gave us two German knives, a big one and a little one. They were expensive but have lasted a long time. You can find similar versions at Williams Sonoma. We regularly sharpen our knives and they still work great. Our bread knife has always been a free one I got a long time ago at the grocery store during a promotional deal. We also have a cheese knife my husband brought into the marriage, that I refuse to use because it’s so flimsy.

“Mom, why does our bread knife suck?” has been a consistent complaint I’ve heard every time there’s fresh bread in the house.

“This doesn’t cut anything!” someone will gripe.

“Hmm…” I thought to myself. “Maybe it’s time to upgrade the bread knife.” If anything, it would cut down on the whining.

Since our first two German knives have lasted so long, I went to the mall and bought a bread knife from the same brand. “Victory!” I declared, waving the box in the air when I returned home. “Now we can cut fresh bread.”

My son was into baking sourdough at the time, so he used the starter to bake a fresh loaf. The house smelled heavily as it baked in the oven. He set a timer to make sure it cooled the appropriate amount and then took out the brand new knife — and immediately cut himself.

“Are you OK?” I asked.

“I’m fine,” he said, holding pressure on the wound.

“Gross,” said my daughter. “You’re bleeding into the bread.”

“Let me handle this.” My husband picked up the knife and began slicing. Everything went fine for a few minutes until he ended up cutting himself too. “That knife is really sharp,” he muttered.

“I know,” I said, “That’s why I bought it. But you guys really should be more careful.”

A few days later my daughter was making breakfast and wouldn’t you know, she cut herself while slicing through English muffins.

“Maybe it’s time for knife safety lessons,” I said. “Before the bread knife hurts anyone else.”

“It’s just so sharp,” said my son.

“That’s what you wanted!” I threw my hands up. ” A sharp knife that could cut bread.”

“Bread, not fingers,” said my daughter.

My husband shook his head. “Whatever you do, don’t replace my cheese knife.”

I didn’t replace the cheese knife, and I didn’t cut myself with the bread knife either … for a full six months. Last week I nicked my finger.

Jennifer Bardsley is the author of “Sweet Bliss,” “Good Catch” and more. Find her online on Instagram @jenniferbardsleyauthor, on Twitter @jennbardsley or on Facebook as Jennifer Bardsley Author. Email her at

Talk to us

> Give us your news tips.

> Send us a letter to the editor.

> More Herald contact information.

More in Life

Matt Stewart, left, and Janice Ayala, right, spin during country dance lessons at Normanna Lodge on Tuesday, April 9, 2024 in Everett, Washington. Normanna Lodge will be hosting country dance next Tuesday during PBR Stampede. (Olivia Vanni / The Herald)
Everett Stampede aims to become a Western-themed tradition

The new weeklong event combines a popular Professional Bull Riders event with live music, two-step dancing and more.

Graham Kerr, 90, leans down and kisses his new wife, Nancy, during Senior Expo on Tuesday, March 26, 2024, at Hotel Indigo in Everett, Washington. (Ryan Berry / The Herald)
‘Galloping Gourmet’ celebrity chef Graham Kerr is a Stanwood newlywed

The 90-year-old shared his love of Nancy, God and Costco at the Everett senior expo last month.

Music, theater and more: What’s happening in Snohomish County

Edmonds Center for the Arts plays host to comedian Don Friesen on Friday and Grammy-nominated vocal group säje on Sunday.

Jon Kim freestyles during a RTHMZ rehearsal Monday, Jan. 22, 2024, in Lynnwood, Washington. (Ryan Berry / The Herald)
Moving with love: Lynnwood’s RTHMZ dances to their own beat

The team brings together dancers from across styles to raise the bar of what’s possible in the local scene.

Stress management, meditation or relaxation to reduce anxiety, control emotion during problem solving or frustration work concept, woman in lotus meditation on chaos mess line with positive energy.
Sharing reflections on 50 years of meditation

Meditation is no quick fix, but if you establish a consistent practice, over time, you’ll appreciate the results.

In the “rickety-chic” Psyrri neighborhood of Athens, you’ll find slick outdoor restaurants next to vibrant street art. (Cameron Hewitt)
No need to scram from an Athens on the rise

Rick Steves used to think of Athens as a big ugly city. But while updating his guidebook one summer, he discovered a many-faceted city that’s getting its act together.

chris elliott.
Why won’t Airbnb cover my hotel expenses? They promised!

When David Tuttle’s Airbnb host moves him to a different rental, Airbnb offers to cover his hotel expenses, but a month has passed since. Where’s the money?

Oumou Sangare, from Senegal, performs at the "Africa Standing Tall Against Poverty" in concert with Live8 in Johannesburg Saturday July 2, 2005. (AP Photo)
Music, theater and more: What’s happening in Snohomish County

Hear Grammy winner Oumou Sangare on Saturday in Edmonds. Also on Saturday: The Everett Film Festival.

Jimmer DeGroot stands along the line of weber grills in his front yard on Sunday, March 31, 2024, in Grotto, Washington. (Ryan Berry / The Herald)
Why are there 24 Weber grills lined up on the highway to Stevens Pass?

Just ask Jimmer De Groot. He expresses his love of grills through his art. And it’s now a bit of an obsession.

2024 Honda Civic Type R (Photo provided by Honda)
2024 Honda Civic Type R

Developed in Japan, and track-tested around the world, the Civic R Type delivers 315 horsepower and 310 lb-ft of torque, making it Honda’s most powerful production vehicle in the U.S.

Soul sisters Helsinki and Tallinn are pearls of the Baltic

While they have their own stories to tell, these cities share a common heritage of Swedish and Russian influences.

My trip to Iraq was canceled, so why can’t I get my $7,590 back?

When Diane Gottlieb’s tour of Iraq is canceled, the tour operator offers her a voucher for a future trip. But she wants a refund.

Support local journalism

If you value local news, make a gift now to support the trusted journalism you get in The Daily Herald. Donations processed in this system are not tax deductible.