Anybody can be a role model and mentor

We can inspire youngsters to find vocations that give them meaning, purpose and joy.

In late September, I attended my 50th college reunion with two college friends. Yes, I am that old — 71, to be exact. It was interesting to see friends I hadn’t seen for 50 years and catch up on a lifetime of their loves, losses, work and families. I was one of the few alumni still working.

Among the many reunion gatherings, I attended several classes. I wanted a glimpse of what older teens are thinking about in today’s world. To my surprise, many students were interested in becoming mental health providers.

They reminded me of my own journey that brought me to my profession. When I was 11 years old, I read a biography of Albert Schweitzer, which significantly influenced me. He was a physician who dedicated his life to helping poor people in Africa. He was a renaissance man — a musician, theologian, philosopher and doctor. His dedication and his sacrifice inspired me.

I was an avid reader, especially drawn to biography and curious about how life stories unfolded. I was a natural observer of how people interacted with each other. Adults thought I was precocious and had a certain amount of wisdom at an early age. When I was 12, I decided to become a psychologist— I wanted to dedicate my life to helping others.

Ironically, that year, my life turned upside down. My devoted grandmother, who lived with us, died suddenly. Shortly after her death, my parents divorced and my middle brother went off to college. It was a tough time for me. Meanwhile, both of my parents were struggling with their own mid-life crisis and I felt utterly alone.

This all happened during the turbulent times of the mid-1960s — the war in Vietnam was building up, and the civil rights movement was growing. As Dickens said, it was the best of times and the worst of times.

Aside from Albert Schweitzer’s story, I was fortunate to have several role models and adults who helped me grow into myself. My mother’s best friend, Ruthie, helped me survive my stormy adolescence. In college, teachers in the Sociology Department engaged my intellectual curiosity. In graduate school, I had teachers who became friends and role models. I started practicing aikido, a martial art that brought me into contact with wise and developed teachers. As part of my aikido training, I started meditating regularly in 1975 and have kept it up.

During the initial phase of my career, I worked in community mental health with adults who had psychiatric disabilities. I consider myself lucky to have received grants that allowed me to undertake innovative and exciting work with families of mentally ill patients. Before I came to the Pacific Northwest, I worked with the homeless community in Hartford, Connecticut. These varied experiences taught me a great deal. In Everett, I had the opportunity to develop and nurture The Everett Clinic’s behavioral health department so that it could provide care to our diverse community. I was inspired by many of my physician and administrative colleagues.

These young college students are called to help others with their growth and development as human beings. What do they need to become helpful mental health providers of the future? Our desire to help others is often born from our pain and struggles and the help we receive from family, friends, teachers and mentors.

As adults, we have the opportunity to be role models and mentors for youngsters. We can inspire them to find vocations that give them meaning, purpose and joy.

Paul Schoenfeld is a clinical psychologist at The Everett Clinic. His Family Talk blog can be found at www. everettclinic.com/ healthwellness-library.html.

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