As we look forward to the new year, it’s time for reflection

Before considering your hopes for 2021, it’s important to ask yourself, “What have I learned this year?”

We are finally coming into the new year! Our children will tell their children how they hunkered down during the great coronavirus pandemic of 2020. Some — far too many — will share their stories of grief and loss.

We’re all looking forward to a better year, a year where our lives can become what they were again. With a vaccine, we’re starting to hope once more. I’m dreaming of holding my grandchildren in my arms. I’m dreaming of holding my daughters tight. I see a light at the end of this viral tunnel.

But the pandemic is not over yet. We’re in the middle of surging infections nationwide, with a scary number of hospitalizations and deaths. The next three months will be critical. It’s not a time to back down from this fight. It’s time to double down our guard to protect ourselves and each other. We can do it.

I’m not a big one for new year’s resolutions, having fallen off this wagon too many times. But I do like to reflect on the past year and consider what I would like to nurture in myself in the year ahead.

Before considering your hopes for 2021, it’s important to ask yourself, “What have I learned this year?”

I’ve learned that my adult daughters are tougher than I thought. I’ve learned to appreciate the small pleasures and joys of everyday life. I’ve learned how we can adapt, pivot and come up with new ways of connecting with each other. I’ve become more patient and learned how to better handle my impatience. I’ve realized the absolute importance of cultivating inner peace, especially when the world around me trembles.

But most importantly, I’ve learned to be even more grateful for the gift of life, especially in this time where more people in our country have died in the last nine months than in combat during the four years of World War II. It’s staggering to consider the loss and grief that so many families are enduring. I am grateful that, so far, I’ve been spared this pain. My heart and soul reach out to all those who have suffered this year. I want to hold them in my arms and comfort them.

As I look forward to 2021, I want to be more helpful to my family, my friends, my neighbors and my community. I want to be more patient with my wife, as we have spent more time with each other, shoulder to shoulder, in 2020 than ever before.

This last year, I have come out of my semi-retirement to provide more psychological care to our community members who are experiencing depression, anxiety and distress. It’s been a privilege to be able to use my 40 years of experience as a psychologist to help others weather this storm.

In this new year I hope to become a better husband, a better friend, a better brother, a better father and grandfather, and a better psychologist.

I hope to become a better person.

Paul Schoenfeld is a clinical psychologist at The Everett Clinic. His Family Talk blog can be found at www.everettclinic.com/family-talk-blog.

Talk to us

> Give us your news tips.

> Send us a letter to the editor.

> More Herald contact information.

More in Life

Hai Viet Hong, center, performs with the Huong Viet Performing Arts Group during The Wendt Mayor’s Arts Awards on Thursday, April 10 in Everett, Washington. (Will Geschke / The Herald)
Everett artists celebrated with The Wendt Mayor’s Arts Awards

Award recipients included a former City Council member and the former publisher of My Everett News.

AquaSox General Manager Danny Tetzlaff keeps the whole circus running. (File photo)
Part baseball, part circus: What goes into a game at Funko Field?

It takes a small army of employees to make sure fans have a great time watching the Everett AquaSox.

Employees and patrons of the Everett Mall signed a timeline mural that traces the history of the 51-year-old indoor mall that was once considered the premier place to go shopping in the city. Thursday, March 20, 2025 (Aaron Kennedy / The Herald)
Mall mural offers nostalgic trip into the past

Past and present Everett Mall employees joined customers Thursday to view an artistic timeline of the once popular shopping mecca.

Whidbey Clay Center instructor Jordan Jones demonstrates shaping a lump of clay into a gumdrop shape and centering the hole during her class at the Whidbey Clay Center in Freeland. Centering the holes is an important first step to turn clumps of mud into art, whether it be a mug, bowl, spoon rest, dragon, wagon or farm animal. (Patricia Guthrie / Special to The Herald)
Whidbey Island clay artists mucking in mud more than ever

Instructor to class: “Clay is very humbling. But you can remake it. It’s just mud. We’re just having fun.”

An autumn-themed display at Wagner Jewelers in Marysville. (Olivia Vanni / The Herald)
Shine bright with Snohomish County’s top jewelry finds

Three dazzling shops where elegance, craft, and sparkle come together.

Image from Pexels.com
Top 3 Cannabis Shops You’ll Love in Snohomish County

Looking for quality products and good energy? Let’s discover the top spots.

Image from Canva.com
Chic & unique: The top 3 boutiques in Snohomish County you need to visit

From trendy finds to timeless pieces, discover the hidden gems that are redefining local fashion.

Image from Canva.com
Find your next favorite read in Snohomish County

Explore three of the finest bookshops where stories and community come together

The 2025 Lexus TX 350 is a three-row luxury SUV. It’s offered in Base, Premium, Luxury, and F Sport Handling grades (Provided by Lexus).
2025 Lexus TX 350 welcomes new F Sport Handling model

Unique exterior highlights, a glass roof and sport-tuned suspension are among the attractions.

Hybrid Touring Photo Provided by Subaru U.S. Media Center
2025 Subaru Forester Hybrid Increases Fuel Economy And Range

Sixth-Generation Model Receives Complete Refresh

Image from Canva.com
Say “I Do” to these stunning wedding venues

From rustic barns to elegant halls, discover where love stories in Snohomish County begin.

Grayson Bed and Breakfast (Photo courtesy of HD Estates and Grayson Bed and Breakfast)
The Grayson Bed and Breakfast: Where strangers become friends

A cozy retreat with scenic views and pet-friendly amenities just two miles from downtown Monroe.

Support local journalism

If you value local news, make a gift now to support the trusted journalism you get in The Daily Herald. Donations processed in this system are not tax deductible.