The deafening noise of a pressure washer on a Saturday morning can only mean one thing: Summer is almost here. It’s time to suds down the patio furniture and pray crows don’t crap on the cushions.
Everyone in my family enjoys our back yard, including our poodle, Merlin. He’s famous for rolling in fresh grass clippings and needing an emergency bath. But sometimes Merlin gets into other mischief in the back yard that isn’t as easy to sanitize. Specifically, Merlin has turned into a bunny slayer.
Now, before you picture Merlin as a vicious attack dog, remember that he’s a 14-pound elderly poodle who’s missing most of his teeth. Historically, though, poodles were bred for hunting. Poodles can do everything Labrador retrievers can do and look fabulous while doing it. It makes sense that rabbits invading our back yard activated Merlin’s canine instincts.
One morning — while my husband was on a business trip — I let Merlin out to do his business and he didn’t come back. I traipsed out in my pajamas and rubber boots and found him, gore dripping down his fur, staring at a baby rabbit. The bunny lay on the grass, intestines pouring out.
“Merlin!” I screamed. “How could you?” I grabbed Merlin by the collar and hitched him to the outside leash.
“What’s going on?” both kids wanted to know. They had heard me scream and were standing by the sliding glass door.
“Don’t look,” I said, and quickly explained what had happened. My son ran to get towels and my daughter brought soap. I hosed Merlin down right there on the patio so he wouldn’t bring bunny guts into the house.
Then I had to deal with the rabbit carcass which, let me tell you, isn’t how I like to spend Monday mornings. I double bagged it, tried not to barf, and put it in the garbage.
Meanwhile, my son was googling “Dog kills rabbit,” and finding all sorts of information. “Mom,” he told me, “Merlin could get parasites.”
Yuck! I called the vet and was relieved to hear that Merlin’s anti-parasite medicine would be enough to kill whatever bugs he might have ingested. That was good news, but what about the poor bunny?
The kids and I conferred. “Merlin shouldn’t be allowed to roam free in the back yard until the baby bunnies are grown,” said my daughter. The three of us agreed that was for the best. We figured that if we put Merlin on the line and watched him, he wouldn’t get into trouble.
We were wrong.
That night I let Merlin out again, this time hitched to the outside leash. Faster than I could say “I think Merlin’s doing his business,” Merlin dragged another baby bunny out of a nest in the bushes by our sliding glass door. “Merlin!” I shrieked. “You animal!”
“How’s it going?” my husband called an hour later from the comfort of his hotel room.
Boy, was he sorry he asked.
Jennifer Bardsley is author of the books “Genesis Girl” and “Damaged Goods.” Find her on Instagram @the_ya_gal, on Twitter @jennbardsley or on Facebook as The YA Gal.
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