“I survived up-fronts.” It should be on a T-shirt. Last week was our annual slog through the six broadcast networks’ presentations of their fall shows to advertisers they hope will bankroll them, and critics they hope won’t trash them.
In four days, it’s six shows at Manhattan’s big-time halls – Radio City, Carnegie, Madison Square Garden. It’s spending two to three hours each to have “had a lot of smoke blown your way and been spun to dizzying heights,” as a Fox exec said last week.
Clips roll on big screens. Stars do the “perp walk” across the stage to be seen and sometimes heard. Execs boast. Charts and bar graphs support competing ratings claims. Live entertainment occasionally spells the hype-spewing. And little in-joke film spoofs turn network salespeople into stars-for-the-day.
This is all meant to convince us how great their shows are and how wonderfully they’ve scheduled them.
Mostly, it just makes us wonder, “What were they thinking?” and “Can I catch an earlier train if I leave now?”
Some highlights of the week that was (and will be this fall):
Smartest screening: NBC showed the entire 22-minute “Joey” pilot to assure advertisers that the “Friends” spin-off was in good shape, unlike so many pilots requiring revamping. The critical response ran from better-than-we-expected to solid-commercial-crowd-pleaser. (Note no superlatives there.) Matt LeBlanc’s actor wannabe is lead-star strong, and sister Drea DeMatteo faces a joke about her new fake breasts every 90 seconds. There’s even Joey’s “rocket scientist” nephew as his new roomie learning to party hearty. It’s an amusing time-waster. But is that what NBC’s Thursday night has come to?
Most surprising appearance: Roy, as in Siegfried and. The two animal showmen appeared via videotape to promote NBC’s “Father of the Pride” animated show about their “celebrity animals.” Roy didn’t look that great (his left side appears paralyzed), but he looked alive and still possessing a sense of humor, which is good enough after nearly being killed by his own tiger.
Best live entertainment: The WB had Lenny Kravitz rocking. NBC had Donald Trump joking (“I’m the only thing NBC has going for it … a total ratings machine”). Fox presented the four “American Idol” toppers. Carnegie Hall thumped to three Who hits turned “CSI” themes. Ad execs reverted to rock concert screamers, snapping pictures with their camera phones. (Nobody carries a lighter anymore.)
Most New York moment: WB ad chief Bill Morningstar thanked “our proud teams the Knicks and the Rangers, who by losing, made Madison Square Garden available for us.”
Culture clash: The WB touted “Jack and Bobby,” a smart family drama about a single mom (Christine Lahti) and her two rivalrous sons, one of whom will become president. (They’re not from Boston.) Looks like it’s got gravity and depth, which it should, coming from “ER”/”West Wing” producer Tommy Schlamme. But the network closed its up-front with comedians from its “Blue Collar TV” show – Jeff Foxworthy, Bill Engvall, Larry the Cable Guy – who dropped poop jokes and “cain’t baptize cats” punch lines.
They never learn: ABC’s new dramas include “Lost,” a creepy-island plane-crash saga that looks like the flop “Dinotopia”; the teen coming-of-age tale “Life as We Know It,” which looks like the flop “That Was Then”; and the high-tech detective hour “Eyes,” which appears to blend two flops, “Threat Matrix” and “Snoops.” Add “Fleet Street,” which spins James Spader out of “The Practice,” and Steven Bochco’s New York cop drama “Blind Justice” moving into “NYPD Blue’s” slot, and there isn’t a single new idea anywhere.
They never learn 2: Jason Alexander bombed as a haplessly short-fused motivational speaker in ABC’s “Bob Patterson.” So CBS brings him back as a haplessly short-fused sportscaster in “Listen Up.” CBS also announced an hour drama about a New York pro baseball bat boy, “Clubhouse.” Since when did any sports-based series ever work?
Sometimes they learn: Fox is making new episodes of its much-canceled “Family Guy” after the animated cult fave sold something like a million DVDs. A new show from creator Seth MacFarlane, “American Dad,” about a CIA agent with a space alien in the family, will preview after the Super Bowl.
Associated Press
Jason Alexander (left) appears with Malcolm-Jamal Warner in “Listen Up,” a new CBS comedy series premiering this fall. Alexander stars as sports talk show host Tony Clineman, and Warner plays his witty sidekick, Bernie Widmer.
Fox is bringing back the animated “Family Guy.” Clockwise from left are the Griffins, Chris, Peter, Stewie, Lois, Meg and Brian, the family dog.
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