This past week I’ve gone on a murderous rampage against ants. I’m still shaken up that our home fell under attack to begin with, even though 16 years ago when we purchased our house, “moisture ants” was listed on the home inspector’s report. For all of those years, the only evidence of intruders was a line of ants along the base of the garage door. They’d come up during summer, but never bother us. If they had, we probably would have sprayed them with Raid. But until now, the ants have always been a nonissue.
Then, all of a sudden, the day before we were hosting a dinner party, I saw ants by the dog bowl. They weren’t getting into the food or water, but they were walking past it in a neat little line. I sprayed them with cleaner, vacuumed the floor, and mopped for good measure. No crumbs allowed in my kitchen!
Later that day I saw more ants, only this time they were by the refrigerator. Concerned that they might be under the fridge, I enlisted my son to move the appliance out so I could check. Yes, there were ants, and there was also a small water leak under the fridge. Crawling underneath the house to turn off the errant water line was exactly what my husband wanted to do that afternoon. Well, uh … not exactly. But he did confirm that while there were cobwebs in the crawlspace, there weren’t any bugs.
Where were the ants coming from? We weren’t sure, but I dutifully killed them one by one with the cleaner.
The next day, right before our guests arrived, I saw dirt on the carpet. Only it wasn’t dirt, it was a squirming ball of ants. I vacuumed them up, hosted the dinner party and then killed more ants.
By day three of the invasion it was clear that the wimpy cleaning spray I was using was not up to the task. After asking friends for advice, I ordered Terro ant bait. While I waited for it to arrive, I experimented with other products we already had on hand. I wiped down the area with clove and peppermint oil. I sprinkled ground cinnamon along the baseboard. That calmed the ants down for a while, but they came back when the smell dissipated.
Finally the Terro cartridges arrived. I twisted off the caps and set my traps. An hour later they were black with ants. I was so disgusted that I did what any self-respecting mom would do, I texted my kids pictures at school. Because really, what’s more important? Paying attention in math class or praising your mother for her ant-killing prowess?
The next morning I woke up and raced to the kitchen, eager to see the battlefield. Two thirds of the ants were gone. Forty-eight hours later, victory was mine. Be afraid, ants. Be very afraid. Come into my kitchen and I’ll kill you.
Jennifer Bardsley publishes books under her own name and the pseudonym Louise Cypress. Find her online on Instagram @jenniferbardsleyauthor, on Twitter @jennbardsley or on Facebook as Jennifer Bardsley Author. Email her at teachingmybabytoread@gmail.com.
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