The thing that bugs me most about the whole Barry Bonds controversy (and I’m as nauseous as you are about the subject) is that too many have sustained apparent brain lock to remember how he came to break the record.

What was it Bud “I’m a gennius” Selig said? Something along the lines of “regardless of what you might think about the controversy, this is a remarkable record” or some such schlock. Yeah, Bud. You certainly looked bowled over when you saw Bonds tie Aaron. Had you looked any more dour, you would have been comatose.

I didn’t catch the Moment of Truth, but I saw all the ESPN coverage I could stomach, and not once did I see any of those talking heads do anything but salivate over Bonds’ numbers.

“Gee, Biff Barf, that Barry’s some kinda hitter, eh?”

“Right you are, Felix Fauxpas. I’m gonna name my firstborn after him, boy or girl.”

Even many who originally openly ridiculed Bonds for being what he is — an egomaniacal drug cheat — talked of Bonds in only the most superlatives of terms. Boy, they said, just look at the numbers. Isn’t 756 a lotta homers?

Good Lord.

HE CHEATED, PEOPLE!! HE WAS ONE OF MANY, BUT HE’S THE ONE WHO WANTS YOU TO BELIEVE THAT HIS BREAKING OF SPORTS’ MOST HALLOWED RECORD IS LEGIT. READ “GAME OF SHADOWS.” THAT PUTS A NICE LITTLE BOW ON THE KIND OF PERSON BONDS IS AND WHAT HE WAS WILLING TO DO FOR FAME AND THE RECORD. JUST READ IT!!

That’s it. I’m done talking about Bonds and I’m done writing about him. He’s tired me out. He depresses me. In fact, until I see strong evidence to the contrary, I’ll assume everybody’s juicing. Bonds, my boss, Hillary Clinton, Dom DeLuise, Emeril Lagasse, everybody.