Need a line?

  • By Mark Patinkin The Providence Journal
  • Tuesday, July 5, 2011 12:01am
  • Life

Time magazine just came out with a list of the top 10 most quotable movies.

Some were nonmainstream, like “Glengarry Glen Ross,” and “Napoleon Dynamite.”

But others were dead-on, like “The Wizard of Oz.” I’ve long felt the best test of movie lines is whether you can use them in daily life. I’m thinking most people have said at some point, “Toto, I’ve a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore.”

Or to get out of trouble: “Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain.”

One of my family’s favorite quotable movies is “Home Alone.” My children go on riffs borrowing from it.

One son will say to the other: “Your girlfriend; woof.”

To which he’ll respond: “What a troubled young man. You’re such a disease.”

I’ve also found a line from “Home Alone 2” very useful. It’s when Kevin gets terrified by nighttime frights in Central Park, finally jumps in the back seat of an isolated cab and says with relief: “It’s scary out there.” At which point the cabbie, who looks like a ghoul, turns around and says something I often use: “It ain’t much better in here, kid.”

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I’m especially tedious when it comes to “Terminator” lines. If heading to CVS, I’ll pause at the door to do my best Arnold: “I’ll be back.”

And if I think of it, when asking to borrow something from someone, I’ll use Arnold’s “I need your clothes, your boots and your motorcycle.”

And Arnold had another useful line from the movie “Raw Deal.” His character comes home late, infuriating his angry, alcoholic wife, who had baked him a cake as part of a dinner he missed. She throws the cake and it splats against the wall inches from his face. He calmly looks back and says, “You shouldn’t drink and bake.”

Insert for “bake” words or phrases like “text,” “dress” or “fold laundry,” and it’s quite useful.

The next time my kids skip a chore, thinking there won’t be consequences, I need to haul out Dirty Harry’s classic: “You have to ask yourself one question, ‘Do I feel lucky?’ Well, do ya, punk?”

Like many men do, when discussing our time in youth sports, I like to add a lament from “On the Waterfront”: “I coulda been a contendah.”

One of the most useful lines I know comes from Jack Palance, who played a tough cowboy named Curly in “City Slickers.” Billy Crystal, the nervous Manhattan guy, says, “Hi, Curly, kill anyone today?” Curly responds with a phrase that has lots of applications in life: “Day ain’t over yet.”

Butch Cassidy has many. Like, “Rules? There’s no rules in a knife fight.”

Or if some rival is better than you expected: “Who are those guys?”

I’ll sometimes toss out lines to audiences who have no clue what I mean. If I get into a conversation with any of my sons’ friends about careers, I’ll look at them and say, “Plastics.”

They’ll give me a blank stare, and I have to explain about “The Graduate.”

If someone wants to explore what it’s like to write a column, I’ll ominously say, “Don’t ask me about my business, Kay.” That line worked better for Michael Corleone.

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