Donald Trump peddles office buildings, condos in Las Vegas, golf time and a reality TV show, but his newest venture is something to chew on.
Trump rump, I mean Trump Steak, debuted this week on my home shopping channel.
Finally, a place to get filet mignon for only $96 per pound.
Yes, you read that right.
The bazillionaire hopes shoppers stampede to order his Angus meat. He appeared for an hour Tuesday on QVC, from Trump Tower in New York.
Trump, ever the pompous promoter, detailed the beauty of beef with a nervous QVC host, who must have drawn the short straw, and a female carver, who spent the hour head down, thinly slicing one cut after the next.
They didn’t say if she was also hired to cut Trump’s meat at home, or if she attended a recent backyard hoe-down at the Trump place, not sure if it was on top of the Tower or in Beverly Hills, to grill the goods.
“The fact is that when I saw the steak cooked outside, the color was beautiful,” Trump said. “Old-fashioned charcoal is the best.”
Perhaps a person could warm to him, if you pictured Trump sprawled in a lawn chair like a regular Joe, but he continued that his favorite place to eat cows is at his 62,000-square-foot estate in Palm Beach, Fla., called Mar-A-Lago, where his chefs, plural on chefs, prepare his beef.
I’m not jealous, am I? He certainly made good in life. It just chapped my hide that he branched into high-priced food sales.
I would rather spend hard-earned money at my local grocery store, where my neighbors work, than give it to a rich guy on TV.
My shopping channel is usually a casual place, where getting to know the hosts and vendors is part of the viewing fun. Everyone is on a first-name basis, even Joan Rivers, who sells jewelry and skin products.
But viewers were subjected to the host repeatedly calling him “Mr. Trump” through the whole Tuesday hour.
Not Don, or Donnie.
As for his product, here are the prices for some Trump Steaks:
And the big break, on QVC, if you buy two of anything at the same time, you save on shipping and handling.
How the prices break down:
And you are buying frozen meat. Silly me, I’m even passing on Top Food and Drug’s $9.99 per pound USDA Choice Top Angus Beef New York steak on sale this week.
We splurged Saturday, spending $3.99 per pound for sirloin at Albertson’s.
Like me, Trump prefers his meat to be well cooked. He pushed around pink portions on his plate in Trump Tower, waiting for the brown end cut on a slab of porterhouse.
Trump said his 1-year-old-son, Barron, eats Trump Steak.
I don’t believe our 1-year-old granddaughter’s pediatrician recommended steak on her menu.
His said several times that eating red meat was a good way to lose weight, but didn’t mention his cholesterol or blood pressure. Perhaps the entrepreneur was in a bad mood. His reality show, “The Apprentice” isn’t on the fall schedule. And Monday, his former wife, Marla Maples, debuted on ABC on a show called the “Ex-Wives Club.” It’s about a trio of divorced women who help those facing devastating break ups.
The premise just tickles me.
If buying beef at $90 per pound amuses you, hoof it over to Sharper Image online for another Trump Steak offering. At the online store, one can spend $1,037 for an exclusive Trump Steak Gift Card that will arrive mounted on “an impressive full-color presentation folder.”
For the ultimate in brand recognition, they should have called the package a “Comb-over Combo.”
In the thousand-dollar assortment, a buyer gets four porterhouse steaks; four filet mignons, four boneless New York strip steaks; four Cowboy Bone-In Rib Eyes and 24 Trump Steak Burgers.
For about $12 per pound, he sells burger patties. And for those on a tight budget, there are Trump Steak frankfurters at $3.85 each.
An apt product, coming from Trump.
Columnist Kristi O’Harran: 425-339-3451 or firstname.lastname@example.org.