Dental appointments, sports practices and events at my son’s school.
Work group meetings, interviews and due dates for tax returns and tuition.
Funerals, teacher conferences and a reminder to bring food for an office potluck.
There are party invitations in July and Decembe
r, but I missed most of the social gatherings listed.
In August, a line of green ink marks off one week plus one day. That was vacation in Idaho. I relished every second of it.
I keep track of my life on two paper calendars, one at work, one at home. Paging through them, month after month, I see all the time commitments made and fulfilled last year. I can largely see how each day of 2010 was spent.
There were months — September and December — with fewer than a handful of blank dates. Some weeks of the year lacked a single blank day, a day that could be spent any way I wanted.
A lot of things got done in 2010. I’m not sure they were the most important things. When I think about last year, I’m not a bit sorry to see it behind me. Looking at my calendars, I see solid reasons why I’m feeling that way.
Through those jam-packed 12 months, what’s glaring is what’s missing. I can now see clearly all the things not listed.
There’s not a single lunch with a friend. Except for my week at Priest Lake, Idaho, there is no long stretch of time away from our Everett routine. I went to the dentist and had my hair cut, but there isn’t one doctor’s appointment for me.
Several weekends list possible trips to Spokane to visit my parents. I made a few of those trips, but haven’t been back since summer. My sister in Spokane is in the midst of planning her daughter’s wedding. She and I talk often by phone, but I’m long overdue for sister time over cups of tea.
I took other vacation time, but in short bites.
My younger son and I went to Victoria, B.C., for a night over spring break. For the Fourth of July, we had a fine time with my son-in-law’s family in Grangeville, Idaho. I should have turned that getaway into a long road trip to Yellowstone and beyond, but we drove right back.
All of this is my doing.
For all the things I didn’t do in 2010, I could blame my work. I could blame my son’s sports, my book club or any of the other commitments and activities that fill our days.
I shouldn’t blame anything at all. Those filled-in calendar squares are simply tracks left by busy lives — overly busy at times.
I’ve never been good at keeping New Year’s resolutions. Being healthy, being thrifty, being organized, most of us share those goals. We make a big push to improve each January, but by December we wonder what happened to those efforts.
For 2011, I might try a new approach. I’m taking a hard look at my 2010 calendars, and taking note of what’s missing.
What’s missing is time — time for my family, time for friends, and time for myself. And I’m determined to find it. Those hours and days are there somewhere, hiding between appointments and meetings, games, work and school.
Finding time won’t show. It won’t look like a 10-pound loss or an organized closet. It just might look like a smile.
Spent wisely, it should make 2011 a better year.
Julie Muhlstein: 425-339-3460; muhlstein@heraldnet.com.
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