Gingerly, I walked through the door. I took a seat in the corner.
I had called an information number for Alcoholics Anonymous. Yes, it was all right to attend, as long as I chose an open meeting. It was all right to come and listen.
When a leader arrived, I introduced myself. He made my presence known to the group and asked me to briefly speak.
| How to find AA meetings
For information about Alcoholics Anonymous in Snohomish County, call the 24-hour information line at 425-252-2525. Find area meeting times and locations online at www. snocoaa.com. The Web site for AA, now with more than 2 million members worldwide, is www.alcoholics anonymous.org. |
I’ll tell you what I said at the AA meeting this week in Marysville, where one member told me “anonymity is our most prized possession.”
With New Year’s a time of fresh starts, I told those gathered I wanted to see how Alcoholics Anonymous works. Since its beginning in 1935, the fellowship has helped problem drinkers maintain sobriety by sharing experiences and following a 12-step program. Spiritual belief is at its core.
Up close, I encountered people, not jargon. They are people you might see at work or school, at church or the mall.
When they spoke, it was first names only: “Hi, I’m … and I am an alcoholic.” I’ll use no names at all.
“I messed up three marriages along the way,” said one man, describing himself as a “maintenance drinker” for much of his life. When medical problems caught up with him, he turned to AA. Sober for six months, he said, “The strength of the people in these meetings gives me strength.”
Addressing the day’s topic of “sobriety, serenity and the holidays,” a woman said sobriety was going well. But with teenagers at home, serenity was hard to find.
“I still get angry,” she said. “But I don’t want to go back to the way it was, waking up to the dread of the day.” Prayer, she said, is her new way of dealing with anger. “God keeps me sober.”
A pretty girl in a sweatshirt said she was there to listen, “and get a check mark,” an indication her attendance was court-ordered.
She wasn’t alone among the 20 gathered in having had trouble with the law.
“The wrecked cars didn’t do it. Jail time and paying some fines, that just goes with the drinking,” one middle-aged man said. A moment came, though, of “laying there knowing I couldn’t drink anymore.”
A man who had quit drinking without AA said until coming to the program he had “no serenity and no higher power.”
“I was sick and tired of being sick and tired,” he said.
For a mother in her 30s, rock bottom was when life became “unbearable.” With her life a mess of men and drinking, a family member was caring for her child. One Christmas she was asked, “Aren’t you even going to come home to see your little boy?”
Meetings, a sponsor and a year of sobriety changed everything. Her child is home again. “I started to hear a message in here,” she said. “It really was one of hope.”
The meeting began with a moment of silence and a recitation of AA’s Serenity Prayer. Someone read the group’s preamble, which includes: “The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking.” Participation is free, but a basket is passed around for donations.
On any given day or evening, “500 or 600 people are in different meetings in Snohomish County,” said a committee member with Alcoholics Anonymous District 12, based in Everett. Worldwide, according to the organization’s Web site, more than 2 million people call themselves members.
The local official, sober for six years, said he was first sent to AA “to have a court slip signed.”
“I was mad at being there,” he said. “But there was hope and a lot of laughter there.”
At the Marysville meeting, a man who’d started drinking again after years of sobriety said he ended up losing two wives, homes and cars, and hundreds of thousands of dollars in savings before coming to AA.
“How desperate I was when I came here,” he said. “How horrible it would be if there was nowhere else to go.”
Several said that AA isn’t for everyone. “It’s not going to help someone who doesn’t want to be helped,” said the man who had stressed anonymity.
I understood his reluctance about my presence. Alcoholics Anonymous doesn’t promote itself or solicit members.
I want him to understand why I came. By walking through that door, I hoped to show others what’s inside, and to hold it open for anyone wanting and needing help.
Columnist Julie Muhlstein: 425-339-3460 or muhlsteinjulie@heraldnet.com.
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