After Marysville girl’s death, family grapples with ‘so much unspoken stuff’

MARYSVILLE — When a classmate struggled with homework, Jenzele Couassi would be there to help.

When a friend went through a break up or the death of a family member, she would be there to help.

When a loved one shared suicidal thoughts, she would be there to help.

The discovery of her body Monday in Tulalip Bay shocked the community. That night, hundreds attended a vigil in Jenzele’s memory at the Don Hatch Youth Center on the Tulalip Reservation.

Family, friends and acquaintances shared how deeply her kindness inspired them. What some didn’t know, according to her mother, Jennifer Rollema, was another life where Jenzele was often bullied.

Jenzele drowned and died by suicide, the Snohomish County Medical Examiner’s Office reported Friday, though her family has questioned whether it was, in fact, suicide. She was 16.

“She was struggling so much inside,” Rollema said in an interview, sitting on a couch at a family home in Marysville. She spoke quietly, pausing a few times to wipe away tears. “There was so much unspoken stuff.”

‘Everything else can be fixed’

At 2 a.m. April 19, Jenzele’s mother was in Las Vegas attending a wedding reception when her phone rang.

Jenzele was missing.

And she left notes suggesting self-harm.

Rollema immediately left the reception, driving 18 hours home without stopping. A few hours into her journey, a police officer pulled her over for speeding. Rollema explained the circumstances but the officer still gave her a ticket.

“You shouldn’t be driving anymore,” Rollema recalled the officer telling her. “You should wait and think about this before you drive because you’re emotional.”

She didn’t listen.

“If you’re a mom or a dad, no, it’s not an option,” she said in an interview Thursday.

On the drive back, she prayed she would find her daughter alive.

“I didn’t care if anything else is wrong with her,” she said. “Because everything else can be fixed.”

When Rollema got home, she printed posters of Jenzele to post everywhere. Authorities told the community to be on the lookout for the teen.

On Monday, her body was found.

‘We have to make a difference’

Three days later, Rollema talked of second thoughts about leaving Jenzele for Las Vegas.

And about the loss.

The loss of a close-knit relationship. Jenzele confided in her mother through the hardest times.

The loss of a brilliant future. Jenzele planned to join Running Start. She eyed Yale and Harvard. She talked about becoming a businesswoman, a pediatrician or a model. Her middle school friends believed her work ethic would help her achieve her dreams and more.

The loss of a life to be lived. Jenzele fantasized about getting engaged near the Eiffel Tower. Having children and a cat. Raising her children to be friends with her friends’ children.

Rollema wants to advocate for other teens who struggled like Jenzele.

“I have to for my daughter,” she said. “I don’t know where to start, but I’m going to find it.”

Jenzele’s mother wants to tell parents whose children are struggling with their mental health to find help.

“Find somebody for your child to talk to,” she said. “And if they don’t like that person, find somebody else. But don’t ever force it too much. You have to help them want it and then help them find that help.”

Solutions must go beyond the individual, and tackle issues like bullying, she said.

“My poor baby is gone because of so much stuff that happened to her. We have to make a difference. We have to change the laws in Washington. We have to change the mindsets of little kids, like bullying,” she said. “We have to make it safe for our kids in America.”

‘The biggest smile ever’

Kaysie Collins, Leonardo Amezcua, Amari Flores, Loraine Talisayan and Omar Campos, all 16, were friends of Jenzele from middle school. In high school, they drifted apart a bit, when Jenzele went to Marysville Pilchuck High School and the rest went to Getchell High.

In a video call Thursday night, they discussed Jenzele and their determination to focus on the positive, just like she always did.

They all met at Marysville Middle School, where they grew close. During the COVID-19 pandemic, they leaned on each other.

They played games and watched movies. Many scary ones, though Jenzele’s favorite was the coming-of-age dramady “My Girl.”

In eighth grade, Jenzele was ecstatic when she made the cheer team.

“I’ve never seen her so excited,” Leonardo said. “She was so happy she had the biggest smile ever.”

She supported her teammates. Her role was the “base,” to lift other cheerleaders into the air. Sometimes, she would act as a spotter, protecting others from falls.

But the experience soured in fall 2023, when some cheerleaders and football players started bullying her, her friends said.

One football player told her to quit.

“That’s a very big statement to say to somebody that you don’t belong,” Amari said. “And I just know how hurt she could be from that.”

For a while, Jenzele tried to stay, to focus on the positive.

She faced the cruelty with kindness, the group remembered.

But Jenzele’s kindness was sometimes used against her.

“Sometimes, she’d struggle with being so nice to people,” Amari said. “She would give people the benefit of the doubt even if they didn’t deserve it.”

But on Sept. 25, she left Marysville Pilchuck for Lynnwood High School to protect her mental health, Rollema said.

‘They’re still kids’

Transferring after the start of the year meant she had to wait to join cheer again.

At her new high school in Lynnwood, she rejoined DECA, a high school and college program for students interested in business. She always knew what to say and how to befriend people, no matter who they were.

“She could have been really successful,” Omar said.

In Lynnwood, the bullying eased, but didn’t stop entirely, her cousin said.

Like many teenagers, she couldn’t wait to turn 18.

“And then just be able to turn around and be able to live the life that she wanted to live and to do the things she wanted to do,” Amari said.

The five friends are close again as they deal with Jenzele’s loss. They check in on each other every day.

Kaysie’s mother, Laura Murril, encouraged her daughter and the friend group to channel their grief into action.

“I’ve been trying to encourage them to honor their grief,” Murril wrote in a text message. “But also turn that into something positive by advocating to other kids that students need to report the warning signs when they see a classmate or friend struggling mentally.”

She urged parents to remember that while teenagers seem self-sufficient, they still need a lot of support from adults.

“It’s easy to forget that they’re still kids,” she wrote.

Jenzele’s friend group wants to encourage others to stand up against bullying instead of being too scared.

They think kids need more help coping with mental health issues.

“They are going to need a lot of support in the weeks and months to come,” Murril said. “It’s going to be a pretty long process for them.”

They have started healing by writing letters to Jenzele to leave on a memorial in Tulalip.

“It made me think about all the things I should have done, I should have said to her,” Kaysie said.

‘Knowing that you’re not alone’

At the vigil Monday, a bald eagle circled overheard as friends and family grieved. The eagle sat in a tree and sang.

Anita Matta, a program manager for the Tulalip Tribal Police Department and family liaison for missing and murdered Indigenous women and people cases, organized the vigil.

Jenzele’s mother said the family has Choctaw and Cherokee heritage, though they aren’t enrolled tribal members.

In Puyallup, Jenzele’s cousin Manuela Kouloun saw videos of the vigil.

“Knowing that you’re not alone can be comforting even in a time like this,” Manuela said.

Manuela, 16, met her cousin Jenzele in 2019, at a family gathering.

Immediately they became close.

Manuela and Jenzele only saw each other on holidays, but often chatted through social media.

Despite turmoil in Jenzele’s own life, she continued to support Manuela.

“She was always there for me,” Manuela said.

Because of Jenzele, her cousin is thinking of becoming a therapist or starting a business involving women’s mental health.

She is also taking care of herself.

“I’ve been trying to do better,” she said. “It’s been a hard week, but I’m making through.”

‘She just touched everybody’

Angelica Candey misses Jenzele’s “big ol’ smile.”

On a visit to the memorial in Tulalip on Wednesday afternoon, Angelica said Jenzele made her feel welcome as a freshman at Marysville Pilchuck.

One day, as Angelica walked down the hall with her friends, Jenzele stopped and started talking to her.

“You’re so pretty!” Jenzele told Angelica, now 16. Angelica returned the compliment.

From then on, whenever they would pass each other in the hallways, Angelica and Jenzele would greet each other with the same compliment: “Hey! You’re so pretty.”

“She just touched everybody that she came across,” Angelica said. “Whether it was just in the hallways, whether it was cheer, no matter where, she had love for everybody.”

An online fundraiser for funeral expenses had brought in over $10,000, as of Friday. To donate, go to: gofundme.com/f/help-jenzele-couassis-family-with-unexpected-funeral-costs.

Help is available

There are free and confidential resources for people in crisis or who know someone in crisis.

If there is an immediate danger, call 911.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 988, suicidepreventionlifeline.org.

Care Crisis Chat: imhurting.org (chat), 800-584-3578 (call).

Compass Health’s Mobile Crisis Outreach Team may be contacted at anytime by calling the Volunteers of America crisis line: 1-800-584-3578.

The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention: afsp.donordrive.com.

The Snohomish Health District has a list of other local resources. snohd.org/200/Suicide-Prevention.

Correction: A previous version of this story misstated when Jenzele Couassi transferred from Marysville Pilchuck to Lynnwood High School.

Aina de Lapparent Alvarez: 425-339-3449; aina.alvarez@heraldnet.com; Twitter: @Ainadla.

Michael Henneke: 425-339-3431; michael.henneke@heraldnet.com; Twitter: @ihenpecked.