BURLINGTON, Wis. – Don’t believe a word that Bill Meinel says. He’s a World Champion Liar – no, really, he is.
Meinel won his second title this week from the Burlington Liars Club with the fib: “My son’s high school grades went from all As to all Ds. This happened right after he had his wisdom teeth extracted.”
Meinel, 62, also won the contest in 2003 with this tall tale: “My wife is so indecisive about choosing paint colors, our 1,800-square-foot home is now 1,000 square feet due to all the coats of paint.”
Meinel said his latest winner comes from a line he used to pull on students.
“Whenever one would tell me they were going to miss class to have their wisdom teeth pulled, I would suggest they take all their tests ahead of time,” Meinel said.
John Soeth, president of the club, said Meinel’s lie was the best of just under 400 entries this year. Meinel, a former teacher from Burlington, is the first person to win the contest twice.
Woman gets locked out of car, thanks to her cat
MORGANTOWN, W.Va. – Locking yourself out of your car is bad enough, but Jeanna Stewart was even more embarrassed when the culprit was not her, but her cat.
The Morgantown resident said she was getting a spare house key out of her car’s trunk on Monday when her cat Mork, one of three in the car, stepped on the automatic door lock. She couldn’t unlock the door because she had left her car keys on the driver’s seat.
“He wouldn’t unlock the door for me,” Stewart said Tuesday. “He was standing there, saying, ‘Why aren’t you opening the door? I want to go inside.’”
Stewart went into her house and called the fire department for help.
$2.5 billion pension bills sent to 113 by mistake
TOURS, France – More than 100 people in France got a particularly large, nasty bill in the mail.
Their pension fund was asking them each to pay more than $2 billion in dues.
“I had to sit down when I saw the sum,” recipient Christine Vallee, a bar manager in the Loire Valley town of Tours, said Monday of her statement – received last weekend and asking for payment by Jan. 12.
Alain Lavie, a regional director for pension fund Organic, said a computer glitch was behind the mistaken mailings to 113 people, adding that their accounts would not be affected.
The sticker shock prompted Vallee to call a lawyer.
“I wasn’t laughing when I read the last paragraph: ‘We take this opportunity to offer you our best wishes for the new year,’” she said of her statement seeking $2.5 billion.
After three decades, thief repents stealing flowers
GREENWOOD, S.C. – Someone who once stole some flowers from a Piggly Wiggly more than three decades ago has apparently been feeling mighty, mighty guilty.
An unsigned letter of apology was sent to the grocery store a couple of weeks ago – along with some cash.
“In 1970 I was in the store. I purchased several azaleas. I went outside to put those in the car. I picked up several that I didn’t pay for. The azaleas were 39 cents each. This bothered me for sometime. I want to make this right. Accept this $5 for payment,” read the letter. It was signed: “A customer from years ago.”
From Herald news services
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