Helping families with grief

LYNNWOOD — Myra Rintamaki knows something about volunteering.

She knows something about sacrifice.

Rintamaki is a Gold Star mother, someone who has lost a child in war. Her son was the 45th from Washington state to die while serving in Iraq.

Steven Rintamaki was a corporal in the United States Marine Corps who volunteered for deployment in Iraq. On Sept. 16, 2004, he was killed in an ambush while on patrol in the Al Anbar province. He was 21 years old.

Four years later, there have been 122 men and women in uniform from Washington who have died in Iraq. To Myra Rintamaki, that means 122 families, 122 fathers and 122 mothers that need assistance.

That’s where the Gold Star Mothers organization comes in.

“Once you lose that child, it’s an isolating feeling,” Rintamaki said. “We’re a group that understands what they are going through.”

As a Gold Star mother, Rintamaki contacts the families of the deceased. Because of her own experience, she is able to assist others whose grief is still fresh and to bring them some support.

“We contact the family as soon as we are able and counsel them, telling them what to expect, how to plan a memorial service and reception, and what we can do to help them,” Rintamaki said. “Dealing with grief is a process and being with people who have gone what you are going through is helpful.”

She also assists with guiding the family through military channels, which to many can be confusing.

“Once a child dies, it’s very difficult for the family to access things,” Rintamaki said. “For a spouse it’s different. They still get access. What we try to do is make it easy for everyone.”

Rintamaki has since been part of the creation and expansion of the state chapter of Gold Star Mothers. Trained as a nurse and a social worker, she’s used her background to assist members and create a flexible organization. The support network touches veterans groups statewide.

“Myra and the work the Gold Star Mothers are doing is important to the military families in the state, not just the Lynnwood and Everett area,” Jacki Dunton said. Dunton is president of the women’s auxiliary of VFW Post 1040 in Lynnwood, which has adopted Steven Rintamaki.

“We are working on a fallen soldiers banner for him. We are working on as many as we can, and every post is working on a banner for every soldier from Washington state who has died in Iraq,” Dunton said.

Myra Rintamaki also is doing her part to make sure that the parents of fallen soldiers are not forgotten. She advocated legislation for support of the Gold Star Parent Bill that would introduce a license plate for parents of slain soldiers in 2009.

“I will continue to play my roll as a Gold Star mother. It’s my primary volunteer roll over everything else,” Rintamaki said. “We don’t want our sons’ service and sacrifice to be in vain.”

Reporter Justin Arnold: 425-339-3432 or jarnold@heraldnet.com.

How to help

To learn more about Washington Gold Star Mothers or to donate, e-mail bsnohomish@aol.com.

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