He’s on top of ramen

EDMONDS — Some food critics go for haute cuisine.

Hans Lienesch goes for the instant kind — and a very particular one at that.

The unemployed Edmonds transplant has carved out an online niche as a prolific sampler of packaged Asian noodles, the kind you cook by adding boiling water a

nd little else.

Online, Lienesch is known as the Ramen Rater. By this week, he’d reviewed 407 varieties of packaged noodles from nearly every country in east Asia.

His culinary pedigree?

“I like to eat,” the 36-year-old said this we

ek, patting his belly.

Many people know about ramen noodles from the Top Ramen brand made by Japan’s Nissin Foods.

The same goes for Lienesch. As a kid growing up in Anacortes in the 1980s, he tried another kind of noodle made by Nissin called Roasted Ramen that he liked better than Top Ramen. Then it disappeared from store shelves.

That sent his family on a quest to the Uwajimaya supermarket in Seattle. There, he found an exact equivalent of his beloved Roasted Ramen — and a whole spectrum of instant noodles he never knew existed.

“I started a website in 2002 to keep track of what I tried, see if I liked it or not,” Lienesch said.

A diet forced him to take a break from the often high-sodium, high-fat noodles. He turned to reviewing hot sauces. When he reached about 250 hot sauce reviews, he grew bored and stopped.

Eventually, he kicked the diet and, about a year ago, started reviewing ramen again in earnest.

Helping feed the habit was his recent move to a stretch of Highway 99 in Edmonds dotted with restaurants, groceries and other businesses from around the globe. You might call it the Highway of Babel.

Cheap rents, not the neighborhood’s promise for exotic ramen variations, however, were what drew Lienesch there.

“It ended up being a super lucky spot,” he said.

These days, most people in the Puget Sound area need not venture far to find a full-fledged supermarket catering to Asian palates with entire aisles dedicated to instant noodles.

Uwajimaya, headquartered in Seattle, has four retail stores in the Northwest and traces its roots to a business that Yawatahama, Japan, native Fujimatsu Moriguchi began in Tacoma in 1928.

H Mart, an Asian supermarket chain that started in Queens, N.Y., in 1982, has a Lynnwood branch near the Alderwood mall.

A short walk from Lienesch’s apartment is 99 Ranch Market, another Asian supermarket chain, which began in Southern California in 1984.

On Tuesday, the Ramen Rater stalked an aisle at 99 Ranch that rivaled a fireworks stand for its explosion of color. Rows of bright packages advertised noodle flavors as diverse as kimchi, Chinese soy bean and tom yum soup. Most cost a buck or less.

“I’ve shopped this place pretty well,” Lienesch said. “I don’t just review the stuff that looks like it’s going to be good.”

Even with so many offerings, Lienesch said it’s getting tricky to find untested packages. This turned out to be a lucky day, though, when Lienesch stumbled on something new: prawn-flavored noodles from Malaysia. He excitedly called it an “uber score.”

Back at the apartment that Lienesch shares with his fiancee, Christine, and pugs Daisy and Otis, he broke into true Ramen Rater form.

It’s something Lienesch goes about with a complete lack of pretension. He’s never been to Asia. Neither he nor his fiancee have any ties to the region. He sheepishly admits that he doesn’t use chopsticks.

“It’s really embarrassing, too,” he said.

His review technique started by taking photos of the unopened, unrated package on his computer desk. Then he tore open the wrapping to snap more shots of the spice and sauce packets inside.

“I like to take pictures before, after and during,” he said.

He next shuffled over to the stovetop for a few minutes of heavy boiling during which he pulled out the tangled mass with a fork to inspect it through his dark-framed glasses.

When the noodles looked ready, he poured them back into the spice bowl and did another photoshoot of the steamy, chili-flecked soup. Within the hour, these and other pictures would appear online on the Ramen Rater blog.

Finally, the time had come to dig in — with a fork — and with a chaser of Mello Yello soft drink from a 2-liter bottle.

“It’s not bad,” he said. “It’s got a little bit of spiciness to it, a little bit of shrimp-pastiness, a little bit of lemon.”

The average review — no surprise — falls in the middle of his 1-to-5 scale.

Tuesday’s noodles rated a 3.25. To his online review No. 405, Lienesch attached a Malaysian-language commercial he found on YouTube from the company that made the noodles. (Also, to keep things interesting, he appended an unrelated YouTube video about a UFO sighting in Canada.)

The site, www.ramen rater.com, has received as many as 6,700 visitors in a day, he said. It carries no advertising. Lienesch said he wouldn’t mind having a sponsor, though he also likes the independence.

He’s active on Facebook and Twitter as well.

Sometimes, people get offended by his reviews. He doesn’t see why.

“I’m, like, sometimes it’s just my mood,” he said. “It’s just my opinion. It’s not something set in holy stone or anything.”

He keeps a Top 10 list, headed up by a package of Indonesian curly noodles that he awarded five stars. He’s given out zero stars before, to a brand that to him tasted like “rat-dropping stew.”

It turns out that the Chinese lettering on the ornate, colorful packaging advertised “fat intestine” flavor.

Noah Haglund: 425-339-3465; nhaglund@heraldnet.com.

Talk to us

> Give us your news tips.

> Send us a letter to the editor.

> More Herald contact information.

More in Local News

The Victorian home sits on Whidbey Island. (Alyse Young for The Washington Post)
Whidbey couple thought they found their dream home — then came the bats

The couple had no recourse after unknowingly buying a home infested with thousands of bats.

The Snohomish County Jail is pictured on Thursday, Oct. 26, 2023, in Everett, Washington. (Ryan Berry / The Herald)
Report reveals cause of Everett man’s death in Snohomish County Jail

Terry Crusha was booked into the jail on May 17. He died three days later, part of a string of deaths there.

Boeing workers file into Angel of the Winds Arena to vote on the latest contract proposal from the company on Monday, Nov. 4, 2024 in Everett, Washington. (Olivia Vanni / The Herald)
Boeing Machinists prepare to go back to work after strike ends

After voting no twice, 59% of union members approved the latest contract.

Twede’s Cafe is pictured at the corner of Bendigo Boulevard and North Bend Way on Sunday, June 9, 2024, in North Bend, Washington. (Ryan Berry / The Herald)
Relive ‘Twin Peaks’ with cherry pie and damn fine coffee at Twede’s Cafe

The North Bend cafe, known as Double R Diner on the campy cult-classic, serves up nostalgia and a damn good breakfast.

From left to right, Lt. Cmdr. Lyndsay Evans and Lt. Serena Wileman. (Photos provided by the U.S. Navy)
Remains of Whidbey Island pilots to return this week

Lt. Cmdr Lyndsay Evans and Lt. Serena Wileman died in a crash on Oct. 15.

Everett
Everett men arrested in huge bust of Seattle drug ring

On Wednesday, investigators searched 31 locations, but suspects from Lynnwood and Edmonds remained at large, officials said.

Police believe a driver fled a traffic stop and crashed into five people Saturday morning in Everett. (Photo provided by the Everett Police Department)
3 killed in Everett crash identified

Everett police are seeking tips about the early Saturday morning crash.

Everett
Everett man sentenced to 18 years for causing baby’s brain damage

Seven years after dropping his baby on a table, Joseph Bradley was sentenced late last month.

The L pod orcas surprised many on Whidbey Island when they returned to Penn Cove for the first time in over 50 years. (Photo provided by Sarah Geist)
Orca family returns to Penn Cove after 50 years

In 1970 and 1971, orcas were herded into the cove off Whidbey Island. This month, members of the L pod returned.

A house is completely surrounded by floodwater along Pioneer Highway on Wednesday, Dec. 6, 2023 in Stanwood, Washington. (Olivia Vanni / The Herald)
New gate is latest piece in Stanwood’s flood protection puzzle

The floodgate will drastically decrease reaction time when the Stillaguamish River jumps its banks.

Large logs flow quickly down the Snohomish River as the river reaches minor flood stage a hair over 25 feet following an overnight storm Saturday, Nov. 5, 2022, in Snohomish, Washington. (Ryan Berry / The Herald)
Rainy, gusty week to come in Snohomish County

The Snohomish River could reach the “action” flooding stage, but forecasters don’t expect any flooding here.

Police believe a driver fled a traffic stop and crashed into five people Saturday morning in Everett. (Photo provided by the Everett Police Department)
Police still working to identify driver in Everett crash that killed 3

A driver fleeing a traffic stop reportedly crashed into five people on the side of the road early Saturday.

Support local journalism

If you value local news, make a gift now to support the trusted journalism you get in The Daily Herald. Donations processed in this system are not tax deductible.