Suspected fentanyl is seen on a table as officials gather at a press conference to announce federal drug, firearm and immigration charges against 30 defendants from the city of Lawrence, Massachusetts, and surrounding communities at Moakley Federal Courthouse Tuesday, May 30, in Boston. (Jessica Rinaldi /The Boston Globe via AP)

Suspected fentanyl is seen on a table as officials gather at a press conference to announce federal drug, firearm and immigration charges against 30 defendants from the city of Lawrence, Massachusetts, and surrounding communities at Moakley Federal Courthouse Tuesday, May 30, in Boston. (Jessica Rinaldi /The Boston Globe via AP)

The government is warning police about ‘Smoochy Woochy Poochy’

By Christopher Ingraham / The Washington Post

Psst!

Hey buddy, wanna buy some Smoochy Woochy Poochy? How about some Bambalachacha? Some Scooby Snax? Maybe a little Mind Detergent or Instant Zen? Blue Boys or Golden Girls? Flake, Fluff or Fizz?

Those terms all come from a lexicon of American drug slang recently published by the Drug Enforcement Administration. “It is designed as a ready reference for law enforcement personnel who are confronted by many of the hundreds of slang terms used to identify a wide variety of controlled substances, designer drugs, and synthetic compounds,” the DEA writes.

It’s meant to help law enforcement officials know the difference between Purple Haze (pot) and Purple Rain (PCP), or Scooby Snacks (MDMA) and Kibbles & Bits (Ritalin).

But slang is a tricky, ever-changing thing, and drug slang all the more so. Some of the terms feel hopelessly antiquated, like “Reefer” or “Wacky Tobacky” for marijuana. Others seem ridiculous or highly improbable, like “Movie Star Drug” for cocaine or “Smoochy Woochy Poochy.”

The DEA acknowledges these difficulties. “Every effort has been made to ensure the accuracy and completeness of the information presented. However, due to the dynamics of the ever-changing drug scene, subsequent additions, deletions, and corrections are inevitable,” the report’s authors write.

Still, the colorful dictionary is a testament to the ingenuity of the illicit drug trade, from Angel Powder to Zapapote.

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