Coffee, tea or ‘zap’?

I said, “Turn off your electronics. Now!” Airlines continue to search for a quicker way for passengers to board their planes, although reaction has been lukewarm to one suggestion to load all window-seat passengers first, followed by center-seat and finally aisle-seat passengers. The technique would require passengers to follow rules.

The airlines showed greater interest in an idea that relies less on passengers paying attention to directions: livestock gates and cattle prods.

—

Already sent out the change-of-address cards: Starbucks says it will partner with Google to upgrade its Wi-Fi service at its more than 7,000 U.S. stores, allowing customers much faster connections to the Internet.

The bad news is that guy who’s always in the comfy chair surfing the Web on his laptop now plans to take up permanent residence there.

—

Even more impressive in German: German customs officials are demanding that puberty pop prince Justin Bieber pay a bill of $1,500 for the care of a pet monkey that Bieber surrendered when he came to Germany for a concert but didn’t have proper papers for.

Normally, we at The Buzz would craft our own joke here, but we can’t write anything funnier than what the customs official actually said: If Bieber doesn’t clear up the bill, “we have ways of making him pay” the next time he comes to Germany.

—