Finally, the joy of winning comes to D.C.

WASHINGTON — It was our much-anticipated quarterly lunch with Tim Kurkjian, baseball analyst extraordinaire, wherein George Will and I bathe in a constant flow of obscure statistics, Kurkjian oddities and ribald anecdotes, like the one about the Red Sox beat writer who accidentally walked in on a players’ prayer meeting and was greeted by the burly right fielder, newly born-again and not yet practiced in the language of Christian fellowship, bellowing “Hey! Can’t you see we’re having f——— chapel here?”

After which, Kurkjian asked us about our daily reading habits. I confessed that during baseball season I give the front page of the morning paper about 90 seconds before going right to the box scores.

To which Will deadpanned, “Why waste the 90 seconds?”

True story. (You can look it up. It’s in Kurkjian’s book.) Of which there are two things you should know: (a) Will was only half joking. (b) He turned out to be prescient: Last Wednesday, I crossed over. I went straight to sports.

ADVERTISEMENT
0 seconds of 0 secondsVolume 0%
Press shift question mark to access a list of keyboard shortcuts
00:00
00:00
00:00
 

It was an important personal milestone, though the circumstances were extenuating: I’d missed the previous home game. You see, on weeknights I’m normally at Nationals Park, it being exactly seven minutes from Fox News’ Washington studios, where my workday ends at 7. If the winds are fair and the Third Street Tunnel clear, I can get to my seat by the bottom of the first, in time to see Bryce Harper’s first at-bat.

Except that the previous game was a day game. I may be an addict, but I do draw the line somewhere. If I find myself at the park at 3 in the afternoon on a Tuesday, it’s time for an intervention.

I know my weaknesses. I tread with care, having found myself in March recording spring training games for later viewing. That’s bad. Not even players’ wives do that, Kurkjian confirms.

So during the season, I exercise prudence. No day games. No weekends. No checking scores — by hand signal from a confederate in the audience — while giving public speeches. But these are about the only lines I have left.

Between now and October, the Nats are my vice. I started going when they were bad, and once celebrated in this space “the joy of losing,” under the axiom that if you expect nothing, you’re never disappointed. A very serviceable philosophy when your team is terrible.

But I need a new philosophy now. The Nationals are good: young, swift, exciting — and in first place in the National League East.

They’ve got an electric 19-year-old, the aforementioned Harper, who runs the bases like Pete Rose on steroids (so to speak) — with joy and abandon. After being deliberately drilled in the back by an opposing pitcher, how does the kid retaliate? By stealing home. Nobody does that anymore. Not since Jackie Robinson, anyway. This kid does it on national TV in the first inning of Game Eight of his career against a former World Series MVP.

The Nats also have the best starting pitching in the game. They not only throw harder and faster than any rotation on record; they throw with purpose and precision. They lead the world in ERA and strikeouts. Better still, four of the five are 26 or younger. The grizzled veteran is 28.

If precision is not exactly your thing, they have a closer, Henry Rodriguez, who throws 100 miles an hour with no idea where the ball is going. This induces terror in the opposing batter, morbid excitement in the stands and acute anxiety in the home dugout. He was finally yanked — mid-batter, no less — by Davey Johnson, his preternaturally patient Yoda of a manager, after hitting one backstop too many in Philly. Rodriguez has since been demoted. Had to be done before he blew another lead or killed a mascot.

Young, brash and dangerous — how can you not like these guys? True, they could very well go south tomorrow. But what a ride. Even the omens are good. When the wizened Johnson, asked about a recent epidemic of injuries to key players, suggested that perhaps a chicken be sacrificed, a bunch of fans promptly showed up at the park for the exorcism.

The beheading was clean; the chicken, rubber; and the results, pleasing: no major Nats injuries in a week! No entrails were read, but I’d say: The outlook is quite brilliant for the Mudville Nine this day.

Just to be sure, however, I’ll check with Kurkjian.

Charles Krauthammer is a Washington Post columnist. His email address is letters@charleskrauthammer.com.

Talk to us

> Give us your news tips.

> Send us a letter to the editor.

> More Herald contact information.

More in Opinion

toon
Editorial cartoons for Saturday, June 14

A sketchy look at the news of the day.… Continue reading

AP government students at Henry M. Jackson High School visited the state Capitol this spring and watched as a resolution they helped draft was adopted in the Senate as part of the Building Bridges Future Leaders Academy. (Josh Estes / Building Bridges)
Comment: Future leaders learn engineering of building bridges

Here’s what Jackson High government students learned with the help of local officials and lawmakers.

Comment: Early cancer diagnosis can be key in saving lives

An act in Congress would allow Medicare coverage for early-detection tests for a range of cancers.

Comment: In wildfire crisis, options for forests, communities

By thinning threatened forests, mass timber can use that material for homes, businesses and more.

Forum: Everett’s land-use plan should keep affordable housing tool

Its comprehensive plan should keep inclusionary zoning, setting aside housing for working families.

Forum: Advice to young adults, focus on your best ‘person’

Past generations focused on the character aspects of gender roles, but something more basic is necessary.

toon
Editorial cartoons for Friday, June 13

A sketchy look at the news of the day.… Continue reading

In a gathering similar to many others across the nation on Presidents Day, hundreds lined Broadway with their signs and chants to protest the Trump administration Monday evening in Everett. (Aaron Kennedy / Daily Herald)
Editorial: Let’s remember the ‘peaceably’ part of First Amendment

Most of us understand the responsibilities of free speech; here’s how we remind President Trump.

The Buzz: ‘Your majesty, the peasants are revolting!’

Well, that’s a little harsh, but we’re sure the ‘No Kings’ protesters clean up well after their marches.

Schwab: Why keep up nonviolent protests? Because they work

Our greatest democratic victories came on the heels of massive, nationwide demonstrations.

Bouie: Trump’s weaknesses show through theater of strength

His inability to calmly confront opposition and respond with force betrays brittleness and insecurity.

Add your voice to protect freedoms at No Kings Day protests

Imagine it’s 2045. Nationwide, women have been fully stripped of rights to… Continue reading

Support local journalism

If you value local news, make a gift now to support the trusted journalism you get in The Daily Herald. Donations processed in this system are not tax deductible.