Flying south

Don’t bring back the kudzu: Alaska Airlines will be offering nonstop service from Seattle to three Southern cities, including Charleston, South Carolina.

Passengers heading to Charleston will be offered biscuits and gravy for breakfast, so they won’t have to train Boeing workers at the South Carolina plant on an empty stomach.

The way the M’s are going, late September at Safeco could sound like this: Because of unrest and a curfew in Baltimore, today’s Orioles- White Sox game at Camden Yards will be closed to the public.

Then again, the Miami Marlins play to an empty house 81 times a year.

Surfing the vast cultural wasteland: A show airing tonight on CNBC called “White Collar Convicts: Life on the Inside” shows us what prison life is like for disgraced CEOs and crooked I-bankers.

If the show’s any good, it should be part of “scared straight” night at Harvard Business School: “You know what prison’s like, kid? There’s no steward service! No yacht club! And they don’t give a (bleep) that you punched two final clubs at Harvard!”

— Mark Carlson, Herald staff