By Ron Friesen / Herald Forum
I had a wonderful band director, Lylburn Layer, while at Seattle Pacific (then a college, now a university). He came at a time when the band needed improvement. What was remarkable at this time in the late-1960s and early ’70s was the approach he took with us.
It was much different than other music professors, and was a stark difference to my upbringing.
Upbringing and education of the times focused solely on criticism and punishment for making errors, or not being “perfect.” So guess what I learned to focus all my attention on as a child and then as a young adult? My single focus was to be “perfect” and to not make mistakes.
As a musician, being classically trained meant being the “best” on my instrument, and to never, ever make a mistake while playing. The result of this upbringing and training was constant self-doubt and extreme performance anxiety.
In contrast, Professor Layer planted a seed of hope which would bloom later. He did not emphasize perfection. He emphasized growth. “You are either growing or dying,” he often said to us. Each step of growth was recognized and congratulated. But then it was time to take the next step, and the next, and the next.
It took about 10 years of trying to teach as I had been taught to finally realize the old approach was all wrong. One spring day after school at the old Stanwood High School, I stopped to watch baseball practice. The coach, Jim Piccolo, was working with his players who were making a lot of mistakes and needed a lot of improvement. But there was not one critical word spoken. The only criticism I ever heard was, “Did you try your hardest on that?” There were only words of encouragement like, “Good try! Now try it this way.” Or, “Don’t worry! Keep trying! ( with repeated hand claps). You will get it next time!” Or, “Great job! Now, you are ready to try something even harder!”
The focus was on growth, not perfection. Both the professor and the coach understood that focus on growth led to “perfection,” but focusing only on perfection would stunt growth and would defeat the goal of perfection.
After 10 years of teaching “the old way,” I moved to teaching at middle school and started the “growth over perfection” approach in teaching beginning and intermediate band students. Two remarkable things happened. First, I enjoyed teaching more than ever, and especially enjoyed my middle school students. Second, student achievement improved, and rates of kids dropping band plummeted.
I share this because there could be a lesson for all of us in today’s climate of despair, divisiveness, and general dissatisfaction with life in America. A recent news poll showed 72 percent of us think we are headed in the wrong direction. I am part of that 72 percent. So how do we change this? Focus on growth, not perfection.
Growth means change. But the conflicts we are seeing are ignited largely from a radical left that wants perfection now and are willing to criticize and destroy everything because it is not perfect. Meanwhile, a reactionary right has dug in its heels with howls of disbelief at anything denying we are perfect as is, and will perfectly fantasize and lie to prove it!
Growth means identifying the best and building on that. Destruction eliminates growth and condemns us to starting from scratch. Lies and fantasies, on the other hand, are just another way of saying, “I am done growing.” Well, as we see playing out in real life, when growth stops death begins, whether in a culture, a community or a political party.
We are a great people as a culture, country, and community. But we are not perfect. Since our founding in 1776, we have grown a lot, much of it at great price. The one time in our history when the price was the greatest almost ended the United States because the “radical left” and the “radical right” of the time decided that violence was the only way to settle disagreement.
We have made great progress since that time. So how about continuing to grow instead of stagnating or dying? How about, “Great effort, America! Now, try it this way.” Or “Don’t worry! Keep trying! We will get it next time!” Or “Great job, America! Now, we are ready to try something even harder!”
Let’s take the next step in our growth. We can all be proud of that. We will be proud of that.
Ron Friesen is a longtime Marysville resident, a retired music teacher and community and church musician and is committed to community improvement.
Herald Forum
The Herald Forum invites community members to submit essays on topics of importance and interest to them. Essays typically are between 400 and 600 words in length, although exceptions for longer pieces can be made. To submit essays or for more information about the Herald Forum, write Herald Opinion editor Jon Bauer at jbauer@heraldnet.com or call him at 425-339-3466.
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