Cover-up

Officials in France say a Muslim woman can’t use her local swimming pool while dressed in a “burquini,” a head-to-toe swimsuit that adheres to Islamic standards.

Skimpy swimsuits are fine for the French, but The Buzz thinks the burquini — and whatever a similar body-covering bathing costume for men would be called — is a great idea that we Angry Burger-chomping Americans should adopt.

In fact, the U.S. could find some common ground with the Islamic world by agreeing that most of us just aren’t fit for view in a normal swimsuit.

Hey, that’s mine: When your property is stolen, you usually never see it again. But a woman in Maryland had little trouble tracking down her stolen stuff — it was at her neighbor’s garage sale, police say.

Police moved in to arrest the guy, but had to wait until 9 a.m. because the yard sale ad warned, “No early birds.”

Doomsday, schoomsday: NASA doesn’t have enough money to spot asteroids that might strike Earth, triggering mass extinctions.

That’s got to be the ultimate unfunded mandate.