Honestly, kids these days

Dead for 35 years and still dangerous: Utah high school officials have reversed an earlier decision to cancel a rock ‘n’ roll version of Shakespeare’s “Twelfth Night” because someone complained that it used Elvis Presley’s song “All Shook Up,” which has lyrics that talk of a sweetheart whose “lips are like a volcano that’s hot.”

The kids were told they could go ahead with the show if they changed the lyrics to “ooby dooby do” and promised not to swivel their hips.

No thanks; I’ll walk: A survey by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention found that 1 in 24 U.S. adults admitted that they had recently nodded off while driving.

The other 23 of 24 Americans shook their heads in disgust at the irresponsibility of some drivers, then merged into traffic and talked on a cellphone, ate a cheeseburger, posted something on Facebook, argued with kids in the backseat, put on makeup, fiddled with the radio or just did a little daydreaming.

Fickle finger of fate: An appellate court judge has overturned a lower court’s ruling and determined that giving the finger to a cop isn’t probable cause for arrest for disorderly conduct. The judge said a man arrested for flipping the bird at cops could sue for malicious prosecution.

We’re waiting for his ruling on whether giving a judge the finger is grounds for contempt of court.

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