It’s crap: Record voter turnout is expected Thursday as Scotland decides whether to declare its independence from the United Kingdom.

Opinion polls suggest the outcome is too close to call. However, one Internet wag sees a decisive result: Yes, 29 percent, No, 31 percent, Alcohol, 40 percent.

Get your motor runnin’: The Captain America chopper Peter Fonda rode in “Easy Rider” is expected to fetch more than $1 million when it goes on the auction block in October.

For that kind of money, we’d expect the secret dope stash inside the Stars-and-Stripes gas tank to be included.

Money for nothing: Lucky Alaska residents are getting nearly $1,900 each this year from the state’s oil wealth savings account — the biggest payout since the Great Recession and the third-richest ever.

This is excellent news for the Alaska economy and especially the Palin family, who now can spring for two Hummer stretch limos to chaffeur the entire clan to their next beer-soaked street brawl.

— Mark Carlson, Herald staff