Java jive

Java jive

If you want half-and-half, the cow’s out back: Starbucks is adjusting the price of its drinks, raising prices as much as 30 cents for the harder-to-make and longer-to-pronounce drinks, while cutting prices for simpler refreshments.

The extremely budget conscious will be given a cup of hot water and a handful of coffee beans.

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We were forced to repeat history in high school: On this day in history :

* In 1609, Galileo Galilei demonstrates his telescope for a group of officials in Venice.

While impressed, the officials tell Galileo that they plan to wait and see if Apple will install a telescope feature on the next iPhone update.

* In 1959, President Dwight Eisenhower signs an executive order making Hawaii the 50th state.

This, of course, proves that Eisenhower was in on the conspiracy to create U.S. citizenship for Barack Obama, who was born just two years later in Honolulu.

* In 1858, Abraham Lincoln and Stephen Douglas begin the first of their seven debates.

Lincoln briefly grows a full beard and mustache, frustrating protesters who planned to hold up photos of him with a Hitler mustache.

* In 1878, the American Bar Association is founded in New York.

To mark the occasion, they sue the next person to tell a lawyer joke.