Roll the dice

Advance to Park Place: Texas Gov. Rick Perry outlined his economic plan, which would give Americans the choice between filing under the current tax code or choosing a 20 percent flat tax.

Perry, R-Parker Bros., denied he got the idea from a Monopoly game but couldn’t explain where he got the inspiration for changing Social Security payments to $200 every time you pass Go.

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Rights for right whales, too: PETA has filed suit seeking constitutional rights for five orca whales who perform at SeaWorld, claiming the marine parks are violating the ban on slavery. SeaWorld said extending the constitution’s protections beyond humans was baseless.

The U.S. Supreme Court, noting earlier precedents that gave corporations some rights reserved for persons, ruled the orcas aren’t humans but said the whales were welcome to contribute to political campaigns if they wanted.

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Thank you for being a friend: Actress Betty White was made an honorary alumna of Washington State University recently. In recognition of her advocacy for spaying and neutering pets, she was given a white doctor’s coat.

We were going to make some joke about Betty being WSU’s oldest cougar, but she had the better punch line: After putting on her white coat, White offered to spay or neuter anyone in the audience.

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