It’s an epic week in these United States. Hope you didn’t party too hard on Super Bowl Sunday, because you’ve only got today to recover before Super Tuesday. Here’s a look at how the two Super days compare:
Super Bowl Sunday: Happens once a year; marked by vigorous consumption of chili and beer, followed by a mysterious surge in the number of people who call in sick on Monday morning.
Super Tuesday: Happens every four years; marked by taunts of “nyah-nyah” in voting states and sullen threats to support the Green Party in places with later primaries.
Super Bowl Sunday: Received hours of TV coverage interspersed with ads involving screaming squirrels and lizards busting some moves to “Thriller.”
Super Tuesday: Will receive hours of TV coverage, likely interspersed with ads for reality shows in which people will have to eat squirrels and lizards.
Super Bowl Sunday: Determines the year’s football champion and dooms thousands of men to cleaning out the garage because they lost bets with their wives.
Super Tuesday: Plays a key role in determining which candidates will have to feign happiness for the winner at their party’s nominating convention.
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