Why’d you have to go and make things so complicated?

Sorry, Avril Lavigne fans: The singer has had to postpone her concert in Everett because of laryngitis. This is disappointing. But not nearly as disappointing as the fact that laryngitis didn’t postpone Milli Vanilli’s entire career.

If you’re expecting, author Heather Maclean has come up with a list of things to have on hand when the baby arrives, such as a car seat, bottles and a swaddling blanket. However, she seems to have left one important thing off the list: adoring grandparents willing to change diapers of an alarming nature.

An Illinois man loves Pabst Blue Ribbon so much that he had a coffin specially made to look like a Pabst beer can. Some people will no doubt consider this tasteless — much like PBR.

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Portland, Ore., is enjoying heaps of praise for just about everything these days, making it the teacher’s pet of cities. Unfortunately, no one will play with Portland at recess anymore.

The city is known for an abundance of two things: rain and microbreweries. Portland can’t be that great, though — the city hasn’t yet figured out how to make it rain beer.

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