Along with the turkey next week, you also get the relatives, who you may or may not get along with. Grandma Sue is always so critical and Uncle Bill never helps clean up.

Here are five tips to improve relationships from Kerry Patterson, co-author of “Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking when Stakes are High.”

1. Work on you first: The biggest reason conversations end in a blowup is a lack of respect. Don’t be judgmental. Take care of your own anger and remember to listen.

2. Show you care: When confronting bad behavior, don’t start by diving into the issue. Help the other person know you care about his or her interests and reassure him that it’s OK to voice his opinion.

3. Just the facts: Avoid using conclusive or inflammatory terms. Sounding superior and smug will only escalate an argument.

4. Share concerns: Having laid out the facts, tell the person why you’re concerned, but don’t do it as an accusation — share it as an opinion.

5. Invite dialogue: After sharing your concerns, encourage the other person to share his — even if he disagrees with you. One of the best ways to persuade others is to listen to them. Ask them if there something you’re missing. You may find out they have a reasonable explanation.

Lesli J. Neilson, Salt Lake Tribune