They stood between me and the pile of split wood that had been waiting for months to be stacked, but they could have just as well have bracketed a trail, waiting to attack.
They were dangerous, but someone had to run the gauntlet, and it might as well be me.
Leather gloves? Check. Long sleeves? Check. Long pants? Check. Shoes and socks? Check. Battle plan? Check. Sharp instrument? Check.
Of course, this approach was taken after I tried to work around the stinging nettles because I was too lazy to walk 500 feet back to the house, change into battle gear and return.
So I paid the price of brushing bare skin against stinging nettles, and then whined about how much it stung. That posture probably disqualifies me from entering the 10th annual World Stinging Nettle Eating Championships next year in England.
Winner Ed Brooks of the town of Wootton Fitzpaine “munched his way through 48 feet of stinging nettles” in an hour. Many contestants were disqualified due to what the English politely described as “stomach evacuation incidents.”
I can’t tell from the Web site how fresh those nettles were, but competitors were described as having “frantically crammed nettle leaves into sore and aching mouths,” so I’ll assume those nettles were fresh enough to sting.
After all, this is the country whose medieval monks flagellated themselves with nettles for penance.
So what about that sharp, unpleasant sensation that can last an hour or, if you have ultra-sensitive skin, much longer?
The 2- to 4-foot-tall plants look like a harmless hairy weed but the hairs, particularly the ones on the leaves, carry a painful nip.
The hair shaft has a tiny bulbous tip. Even a slight touch breaks the tip off at a slant, leaving a sharp hollow shaft that can puncture the skin and release irritants that produce that sting, burning reaction. The main culprit is formic acid.
Acids can be neutralized with a base, so a baking soda paste applied immediately can provide some relief, or even some lotion with anaesthetizing properties.
Other recommendations range from rubbing the leaves of the curled dock plant on the sting (assuming the plant’s handy and you recognize it), using the moisture from the stem of a bracken fern; and rubbing leaves of rosemary, mint or sage on the wound.
If nothing is handy, try spitting on the area and rubbing it.
On the plus side, patches of stinging nettles provide food and cover for more than 40 insect species and attract birds who eat the insects as well as the plentiful late-summer seeds.
For at least 2,000 years, stinging nettles have been used for medicinal purposes, including as a diuretic, astringent and blood builder. But like any other alternative medicine, better to research and find an expert rather than assuming a cup of nettle tea will cure what ails you.
Nettles are one of the first uncultivated plants to spring up each spring. Some come from seeds, but others start through underground roots that spread from the parent plant.
Facing the woodpile and its guardians, I was just going to have to roll up my sleeves and get to work.
Oh, yeah, wrong approach.
I was just going to have to button my cuffs, check my gloves for holes, and start pulling.
On the bookshelf
Ever dreamed of building your own boat, but didn’t know where to start? Chris Kulczycki suggests starting small in “Stitch-and-Glue Boatbuilding: How to Build Kayaks and Other Small Boats” ($23).
Kulczycki offers plans, materials lists and step-by-step instructions for 11 boats.
Columnist Sharon Wootton can be reached at 360-468-3964 or www.songandword.com.
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