I’m not a big fan of New Year’s resolutions. I prefer to consider the New Year an opportunity for reflection, which doesn’t have to wait until the end of December. Indeed, it’s possible to reflect on the past year at any time, but what type of contemplation is useful?

Start by reviewing your successes in 2022. What went well for you this year? Where did you make progress? Which goals did you achieve or approach? What do you feel good about? Where were you strong? I always like to start with the positive— it builds confidence and nurtures a balanced view of the past year.

What would you like to have done differently? Where did you stumble? What did you avoid? Where was there room for improvement? It’s not hard to see where we can do better.

What did you learn about yourself this past year? While we can’t change anything that happened yesterday, we can learn from our experience. We study history so we can learn from the past. It’s helpful to reflect on the past year as a student of your own life.

How can you be better? I like to reflect on how I can be a better husband, father, friend, brother, grandfather and psychologist. It doesn’t mean I’m bad at these roles, but I can always improve. This New Year I will ask my wife how I can be a better husband. My grandkids keep it simple—“just give me more toys and sweets, and you’ll be a better grandpa.” Their parents may have a different idea.

What would you like to nurture in yourself? What qualities would you like to cultivate in yourself this New Year? Are you hoping to be more patient? Procrastinate less? Be more thoughtful of others? Take care of yourself better? Find greater work-life balance? Improve your health? Be more assertive?

Pick one or two qualities you would like to grow this New Year. Write them down on a 3-by-5 card and place it on your bathroom mirror. This way, you will be reminded of what you are working on every day when you wake up and go to sleep. This helps you remember your goals during your busy week.

Sustainable change takes a long time. After I gained the pandemic 10 pounds, I did decide to lose weight. But I gave myself a year to focus on healthier eating, altering some behaviors that contributed to weight gain over the pandemic. I worked on changing one habit at a time because quick weight loss often results in quick weight gain.

Be patient with yourself. Most change isn’t a straight line to your goal. Extinguishing bad habits and building new habits is often three steps forward, followed by two steps back. Measure progress over months, not weeks. Don’t abandon your intentions because you have a bad day—get back on the horse.

The New Year is a great time to reflect on the past year and focus on what you want to nurture in yourself in 2023.

Paul Schoenfeld is a clinical psychologist at The Everett Clinic. His Family Talk blog can be found at www. everettclinic.com/ healthwellness-library.html.